None The Wiser ( The Story Of Us Part 3)
by lolaluvsbooks2390
Summary: Still Another universe: Cas and Dean agreed to be just friends but who believes Gabriel and Jo think they are stronger than ever. Fast forward nine months and life happens. Join our fav 4 as the try lean on each while relationships are tested.
1. Chapter 1 Jo

**Hello and welcome to Part 3. Is this the last part. Well you guys just have to read and find out with **

**Thank you for all the support on part 1 and 2. I'm glad you guys enjoyed them. I hope you guys enjoy part**** 3. **

**I can't wait. I have so much planed. **

**I don't know the title yet. still try to decide. I should have one shortly **

**If some of you have been wondering where's Sam. My answer is this. Since he is four years younger he will show up more and more as the years go by. **

**Don't forget to review and tell me what you think.**

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**Part 3: I did ...Love you**

**Chapter 1 Jo**

How the fuck does one person owns so many pairs of shoes. I'm a female and I have my fair share of shoes but damn it I don't have this many. I think I've counted forty-five boxes so far. I think this entire bedroom will be decorated in shoe boxes. What the fuck? How does Dean have so many shoes? I swear he wears the same three pairs all the time. This shit is just ridiculous. No strike that him moving in here is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong. I love my cousin and we have been getting along these last nine months, but damn it I don't want to live with him again.

You have to understand I lived with Dean from the time was either five or six all the way up until we went off to college. See that whole Gabriel sneaking in my window thing wasn't the only time we had problems. Oh by the way, can you believe my parents still think it was Gabriel. I know it's in the past but damn you think Dean would jokingly admit it somehow, but of course he won't come out the closet.

Shit I think him still being half way in the closet is the reason might be the reason he moved in here. Either way I have no idea how he ended up living here. All I know is Gabriel came home a week ago and said Dean is going to live with us. At first I thought maybe my parents kicked him out but that's not the case again. Then I thought maybe he wanted to move in because Cas is coming back home for the summer, but of course they are just friends. Whatever the reason I don't have time to care. I have my own serious shit to worry about. I just wish I knew why Dean has so many shoes.

I might not have chosen to let Dean move in but I guess I don't care. Things have been going pretty good. Gabriel and I are better than ever. We worked though all our issues and we are back on track. He's finally back on track at school and will be graduating this upcoming year. I found another job at this bakery. Of course Gabriel loves me working there. You know he has a huge sweet tooth and loves the fact that I bring home day old baked goods. Dean and I are okay, we could be better but I'm not pushing it. He's still selfish, but hey he's my family and I accept him for who he is.

Castiel is good now too. Well I think he is. Something is going on with him but I can't figure it out since he goes to Colombia now. How about that can you believe he transferred schools. He knew the whole time he was here last year and didn't say shit. He didn't tell us until like the middle of September. Of course he was vague on why he transferred schools. Whatever that reason might be I think something happen to him while he was at Cornell.

I wished he would have stayed at Cornell too. Not that one school is better than the other but only because Dean and Gabriel both think they have an out. Can you believe these came to the conclusion that since Cas transfers school there is no point to confessing anything. I swear I hate them sometimes. Hell I just hate being the only person seemed bothered by this dirty little secret. I want to tell Cas so bad but I am stuck. I am stuck between my boyfriend, my cousin, and my best friend. I don't know who side to take. You know it sucks being the honest one in a group of liars. I wouldn't go as far to say I am a totally honest person. See I am hiding something from Gabriel. I don't mean to but-

"What the fuck Deano? When I said you could move in I didn't mean for you to move Foot Locker in. Seriously, Why do you have so many shoes." See what I am talking about. The again me and Gabriel do sometimes think a lot. It's annoying to some but I love it.

"IT's not shoes dick. I just happen to pact all my things inside shoes boxe." He's an ididot.

"You're an idiot." See My baby thinks just like me.

"Hey it was cheaper than actually going out and buying boxes."

"Exactly how is it cheaper?" I ask as I wondering how long it took him to pack his things up in shoe boxes.

"Well if Kevin happens to work at Foot Locker. I asked him for some empty boxes and he gave me these."

"You still talk to him." Gabriel as he leans in the door way. Oh yeah, Kevin is one of many guys Dean has parade though my house in the last nine months. Dean might not have lived here but he sure as hell treated this place like rent by the minute motel. If you know what I mean.

"Sometimes." Dean says with a cocky smile. I hope he gets tested.

Gabriel starts to open his mouth to say something but is cut off the sound of Dean's phone going off. Guess what the song is? It's If I Lose Myself by One Republic. Now can you guess who it is. If you guessed Cas then you are right. I swear those two are starting to get on my nerves with we are just friends bullshit.

"Hey buddy." Dean says as I notice how his face starts glowing.

"Hello Dean." He says as I notice they are face chatting. I can't see his face but I imagine it looks something like Dean's

I look at Gabriel and he confirms that we again are thinking the same thing. We both believe they are still in love with each other, even though they both refuse to talk about anything that has something to do with their feelings. I swear it's starting to feel like high school all over again. Mark my words, it's only a matter of time before those two are keeping me and Gabriel up at night. I guess I could use the practice though. I'm pretty sure somewhere in the near future I will be up at all times of the night.

"Hey Cassie." Gabriel says as he jumps beside Dean. I guess he is tired of Dean making dough eyes at his phone like me.

You know even though it's only a matter of time for these two, I think they have been making real progress. You wouldn't know there has been any bad blood between them. They are getting along great. Is it wrong that I wish they stay like this and never ever get back together. I want them both to find happiness but not with each other.

Look they have been getting along so great that the four of us including Meg were all able to go to Mexico over spring break together. Now don't get me wrong. There were a few things that happen on the trip that made us all raise an eyebrow. Like Dean got a little jealous when Meg and Cas hooked up for two days straight. Then there was the time that Dean and Cas disappear for thirty six hours. They didn't answer their phones and we couldn't find them. When they finally decided to show up they were mum about where they been and what had happen. Normally Gabriel and I both would have pressed but we were to wrapped up in ourselves. You know come to think about it, I think that's when I started messing up on my birth control.

"So Cas did you get your grades or are you still waiting" Dean ask a little to edger, but then again I am curious too.

"Hey Cas" I say as I go stand on the other side of Dean.

"Hello Jo. How are you? Hope you feeling better." He says as he gives me such soft concerned eyes.

"You were sick Jo." Dean ask as he looks at me.

"Yeah, I had food poisoning the other day. I couldn't keep nothing down." See I am not an honest person. I still can't keep nothing down. I just have learned to hold it until I get to the bathroom in the basement. Not to mention I can smell everything which also makes me what to hurl. It's a sick twisted cycle Nature came up with. "But I am feeling much better. How are you? Last time we talked you didn't look so good either."

"Yeah I was a bit hung over." He says with a small laugh. It's not funny though. He's always hung over.

"Cas I told you. Keep a twelve ounce beer in your ice box. It will cure your hang over next day.

"I tried that Dean, but all it did was make me have another and before I knew it I was in class drunk."

"Now here's the rue test. Did you pass your classes? OR did you fail them."

"I passed them. Four A's and one B." he says very cocky.

"Like a boss." Dean says so proud. I don't know why he's proud. Castiel is falling apart and Dean is too wrapped up in the enigma that is Castiel to see.

"Well I try." He says as he looks away from the camera to look back.

"No you just do because you are awesome."

"Oh come oh." Gabriel says as he looks between the phone and Dean. HE starts to say something else but is interrupted by the doorbell. "I guess I'll get it." He says before he leaves our former guest room.

"Look Cas buddy. I know you took most of your finals drunk but I am still proud of you."

"and I you Dean. You did great this semester too."

"Not as good as you though."

"Don't sell yourself short. Last I heard you got a few A's also."

"Yeah but not as many as you." Dean says as I roll my eyes. He is literally making me sick. His after shave is starting to get to me. I just might puke on him just so he will stop boo loving. I wonder if this is what me and Gabriel look like.

"You still did great. Never sell yourself short." What the fuck? Why am I still here? It' starting to look like this could go on for hours.

"Okay I think I am going to head down stairs." I announce as I feel the vomit start to raise in my stomach. I think I have about two minutes to make it to the basement. I know I can do it if I walk fast.

"Please don't leave." Gabriel says as he pops out of nowhere.

"Baby I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I sure will. Right after I hug the toilet and brush my teeth.

"Okay." I say as I am unsure about what to do. I feel it coming.

"Cassie you still there." Gabriel says as he takes the phone out of Dean hands.

"Hey" Dean yells as I notice the look on Gabriel face. He looks shocked. Something is wrong. Something happen in the five minutes he was downstairs.

"What's wrong?" I hear Castiel say.

"Castiel there is something I have to tell you." Okay now I know something is really wrong. I have never heard Gabriel call him Castiel. I didn't think Gabriel actually knew his real name. Or at least knew how to pronounce it.

"Gabriel you are scaring me. You never call me Castiel." Something is really wrong. The fact that I have to vomit doesn't bother me anymore. Gabriel is speaking I a calm and creepy voice. Dare I say it/ I think he might be in shock.

"I know" he says before he goes quiet. We all keep our mouth shut as we try to calculate what Gabriel is about to say. I really need him to speak. As each quiet second passes the acid in my stomach rises.

"Gabriel. What is it?" Castiel says a he breaks the silence.

"Castiel as you know I love you. It's always been me and you. Not Balthazar, not Dad, but me and you."

"What happen?" I hear Cas ask with such nervousness in his voice.

"I always wanted to protect. As the older brother I feel like it's my job to protect you, but there are something's I can't protect you from."

"What can't you protect me from?" Cas asks as tears starts to roll down Gabriel cheeks.

"I couldn't protect you from this. If I knew it was coming I would have done everything in my power to cushion the blow."

"Cushion me from what?" Okay now Cas is getting angry.

"Baby what is it?" I ask as I fly to his side. Tears are really rolling down his cheeks. I have never seen this side of him before. I have seen him upset but never like this. I don't know what worng and I don't know how to help him. He's hurt and I can't help him.

"Where's Balthazar?" Oh yeah if you didn't know. Castiel and Balthazar share an apartment in the City.

"He' s out of town on some business deal. HE won't be back for another four days. Why? Why are you asking where he's at you never ask me about him."

"Can you please call him and tell him to book the next flight to Lawrence and you too. Book the next flight to Lawrence." Gabriel asks with such determination.

"Because I think I'm going to need my big brother right now too.

"Why do you need him?" Cas ask but Gabriel ignores him.

"Gabriel, why do you need your big brother. Can you please just spit it out." I beg as his tears break my heart.

"Gabriel, why do we need to be on the next flight to Lawrence?" Castiel asks with a tone mixed with fear, anger, and confusion.

"Gabriel who was at the door?" I ask. Maybe if we ask him different questions he will tell us.

He stands there crying for a few minutes before he finally starts to speak. "When I wen to the door. There were two uniform Officers at the door."

"Cops" Dean asks.

"NO Marines." He says so ashamed.

"Why would Marines be at your door?" Castiel ask. "Wait a minute. When we were little from time to time we use to see two Uniform Marines going to houses from time to time."

"Yes and what did mommy use to tell us when we asked who they were."

"She would say they were messengers of God."

"Did you ever understand what she meant by that." Oh god . Please God tell me what I think is wrong. Tell me that what I think has happen didn't happen.

"I think I do, but I think I need you to say it." Castiel says very careful.

Gabriel takes as deep breath as he draws back snot with his nose. He looks straight into the camera and says "Cassie, are father was killed in Iraq." And here come the vomit.

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**So what do you think**.

**Do you think Cas and Dean might still have a chance.**

**"What about Jo? What's up with her and her health**

**What do you think will happen with these four. **

**Don't forget to review. **


	2. Chapter 2 Castiel

**Hello everyone. I am so excited I have made it this far in the story of us. I didn't think I would get this far . I only hope to go further. I hope to make it all the ay until the end. **

**I want to thank Lilith and Sonya for the reviews. I love you guys.**

**Don't forget to review guys.**

**Don't forget to review. **

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**Chapter 2 Castiel **

My father is dead. My dad has passed away. My dad no longer walks this earth. Wow no matter how many times I say it, it still feel weird. My dad stepped on an I.U.D., lost his and my life doesn't feel any different. I know I sound cold. I know I sound like I don't care but my father hasn't really been in my life since my mom died. In a way, he died the same time she did.

It's really weird because whenever I think about my childhood, I have so many memories of him. He use to do any and everything with me and my brothers. I honestly thought he was the greatest guy in the world. He could do no wrong. I honestly don't know what happen. Maybe he couldn't handle losing my mom. You know what fuck that. My mom dying was horrible and sad but what kind of man just abandons his kids after that. I don't care what might have happen in a person's life, you don't just up and abandon your kids.

He left us to fend for ourselves long before he moved out of state. Jimmy as I refuse to call him my dad right now. Jimmy went right back to work after she died. He never talk to us. He never had dinner with us. All he did was go to work and drink. Then he got transferred. I bet he didn't even think about taking us with him. He couldn't wait to get away from us. Of course he used the bullshit excuse about not wanting to up root us again. Did he actually think he was fooling anybody? My brothers and I grew up Military brats. We moved around a lot. We were used to it. Moving again wouldn't have bothered me.

Hell if he took us with him, my life would be so different. I would have never met Dean or Nick? Don't get me wrong I love the fact that Dean is in my life. We been though a lot and we are in a good place now but I feel like everything that has happen was a dominion effect. If my father took us with him, then I would have never fell for Dean and he wouldn't have broken my heart and I would of never ever in a million years met Nick. I fucking hate him. I would have never gotten involved with him and what happen would have never happen to me. Wow I spent so much time blaming Dean but it really was Jimmy's fault. Yeah I don't miss him. I will never miss me again. I-

"Don't you know you're not supposed to drink alone." That was Dean.

I guess I have been away from everybody too long. When I say everybody I mean Gabriel, Jo, Balthazar, and of course him.

"SO why don't you climb out here and join me." I say as I hold a bottle of Rum up.

"Don't have to ask me twice." He says before he climbs out the window and onto the roof of my father's house.

Yes we are in North Carolina. My brothers and I had to come here to pack up his house. I honestly didn't want to do it, but due to the fact my brothers forced me and that my dad's girlfriend got some sense and dumped his ass a year ago, I had to come. Dean and Jo were nice enough to come with us.

I'm actually glad Dean's here. He always has a way of giving me some kind of inner peace. I'm so happy I suggested we try to be friends again. I needed him in my life. I can't imagine him not in it.

"What you thinking about?" He ask as he pass the bottle back to me.

"You." I say as I feel my body warm up. Must be the combination of the rum and the fact that it's ungodly hot right now. Seriously I don't understand how it is so hot when the sun isn't up. I spent a summer here before and it wasn't this freaking hot.

"Don't tell me stuff like that." He says looking away.

"Why? You asked me and I told you." I say as I move closer to him. I have to admit even though I am okay with just being friends, I still have the erg to touch him every once in a while.

"Cause Cas….Just….Just don't….okay." he says as he looks out over the horizon.

"I'm sorry, but if it helps I was thinking about my parents too."

"Yeah, what about them." HE asks so lovingly as he finally looks at me.

"Just about how different my life would be if my mom was still alive." I say as I feel a pain in my chest. I no longer grieve like I did for my mom but I still miss her. Sometimes I wish for just one more day with her. Just one day to know she is okay.

"You still miss her." He ask as he hands me the bottle.

"Of course, don't you miss yours?" I think the fact the we both lost our mothers young has bonded us.

"I do. I really do but I think the fact she died when I was four years old makes it a little bit different from you losing yours."

"How so?" I ask as I find myself moving even closer to him.

"Well I have some memories of but you have a whole lot more. I think the fact that you were older made it harder on you."

"I think no matter how old you are, losing your mom is one of the hardest things a person will go though."

"That's true, but I really feel bad for Sammy. He was only six months old, when our mom died. Poor kid never knew her."

"That is true but he still has a mother. Your aunt Ellen is his mother."

"That's true. I actually feel like she is my mom too."

"She is Dean. You're one of the lucky ones. You got a second set of parents, I never did and never will."

"I know buddy and I'm sorry about that." He says as he puts his arm around to give me a small hug.

"Don't be. I still had Gabriel." I say as we break apart. Did I mention how good he smells. I have no idea what it is but it smells great.

"That's true. He does act like both your mother and father at times." He says as we both laugh.

"Don't tell him that."

"I won't tell him as long as you share whatever is in that bottle." Now that was Balthazar. He doesn't wait for us to respond. He just climbs though the window to sit on the other side of me.

"Here." Dean says as he passes him the bottle.

"So, what are we doing?" he asks after he drinks from the bottle.

"Shit." Dean says as he looks at the stars.

Okay in the words of Gabriel; awkward. Ever since I stepped foot on this roof the vibe has changed like three times. When I was out here by myself I felt a bit down. I'm guessing because I was thinking of my mom. I always get a little depressed when she pops into my head. I can't wait for that day where she pops into my head and all I feel is warm. I hope that makes sense I think I am a little drunk. After the bottle of rum we are now passing back and forth is a half a gallon. Of course once Dean joined me that all changed. I started feeling better. I would say I felt happy but I would say I was starting to feel at peace. Now that Balthazar is out here, I can fee tension in the air. To say that Dean and Balthazar like each other would be a lie. They both have their reasons. I am trying not to get in the middle. Although it might be hard since I am literally sitting between them.

"So what's going on?" Dean asks begrudgingly. I think he is only trying because I ask him to play nice with him. Dean was really happy when he found out Balthazar was coming to town. Well he understood why he came for the funeral a week ago, but he doesn't understand why he decided to stay and then join us here. I don't need I need to explain why my oldest brother isn't particularly fond of Dean. I did talk to him over the years. He did visit Lawrence while I was in high school and I have been living with him for the last year. We might not have the same bond as me and Gabriel but he is still my brother.

"Oh nothing, expect your cousin is throwing up her insides right about now." He says in his not so newly European accent. I'm not sure if it's English or French. He spent two years total living overseas off and on. Of course he now speaks like the locals. I just don't know if it's real or if he is putting it on.

"Again." Dean says like he is frustrated. I don't know why he is so upset. I here pregnancy does that to you. Of course I am the only one who knows; well me and Meg are the only ones she has told. She might not have told anybody else but with her throwing up half of the day and her sleeping the other half I would think it would be obvious.

"Yeah, sounds bad, maybe you should go check on her." Balthazar says as he tries to mask the hate in his voice.

"Why? What can I do if she is only throwing up, plus Gabriel is in there?" He says as he gives him a look that tells him that he has met his match. I really wish we could all just get along.

"He might be in there mate, but sadly the lade has cried himself to sleep." My god. I wish Gabriel would get a grip. For whatever reason, Gabriel is having the hardest time with our so called father's passing. I really don't care that he has died. It doesn't bother me. Balthazar is different. He keeps speaking about what if and if only he tried to talk dad into retiring a little harder he would still be here. Yeah he would still be here but he wouldn't be in our lives.

"Again." Dean says as he express a worried expression.

"Glad to see that college education is really helping with your vocabulary."

"Okay, Dean maybe you should go check on Jo. Maybe help her to bed." I've been quiet and uncomfortable too long."

"What?" he says as I give him a look pleading with him to just walk away.

"Fine, I think I will." He says as he starts to stand. "Night Cas, maybe we can do something tomorrow. You know just the two of us." He says not really looking at me.

"That's sounds good Dean." I say before he walks back over to the window to climb thought. Balthazar and I stay seated sitting in silence as we continue to pass the bottle back and forth.

You know I am so grateful Dean acknowledges my feelings now. Once upon a time he didn't. I am so glad these days are over. Now he just takes one look at and knows what I am feeling and acts accordingly. You know I think-

"You aren't getting back together with him."

"What?" I say as I am not so shocked. Balthazar has been saying this ever since he found out Dean I were friends six months ago.

"Oh don't play dumb Cassie." I sometimes wish my brothers would stop calling me that, but then again I am use to it.

"I assure I am not. I don't understand."

"Oh please. You want him and he wants you and we both know, hell we all know it's only a matter of time before you two are rolling around in the sack."

"I assure you, that's not going to happen. We are just friends." I say ever so clam. You would think him having this talk with me every other week would bother me but I really could care less.

"Why?"

"Why what?" I ask as start to wish I had my phone or radio. I could really listen to some music right now.

"Why are you eve friends with him? Baby brother you do understand that nobody is really friends with their ex." Oh yeah I hate him calling me baby brother too. I might be the youngest but I am not a baby but both my brothers try to treat me like one. I fucking hate it.

"Well there are exceptions to every rule." I say as I start taking smaller shots of my drink.

"Well I think you two being friends will only lead end up with you being hurt again."

"Message received." I say as I refuse to make eye contact with him.

"Obviously not". Okay I get my bothers cares about me and want the best for me but why he can; trust me. Sometimes I think both of my brother's think I am some piece of fragile glass.

"Trust me. I understand where you coming from. You have only been saying the same thing since I moved in with you." I say as I start to get mad.

"Do you really understand?" He says as if I am stupid. Okay I know we all been though a very complicated week and everybody is one edge, so therefore I cannot hit my brother.

"Yes I unstained" I say after I take a deep breath. "What I don't understand is why you can't accept that I want Dean in my life." I say a little too aggressive

"Your' right." He says after sighing. "Please help me understand. Tell me why you want him in your life. Maybe if you tell me than I can leave it alone. Hell maybe I could even become friends with him."

"Bull shit."

"No bull shit. Tell me. Help me understand so I can get pass my disdain for the lad and get to know him." Balthazar ask as I look into my eyes.

"Fine" I say before I take a swing from the bottle. "I need Dean in my life. My life doesn't making sense without him. I don't need to be with him, but he helps make my life so much better. I don't expect you to understand. I just expect you to accept the fact that he will forever be in my life.

"Okay" He says as he goes quiet. My brother going quiet isn't a good thing. Nobody keeping quiet is a good thing. It means they are thinning and you have no idea where they are going to say or do.

"Okay. That's all you have to say. You can't give me more."

I don't if it's the buzz or if it's him but I feel like I am on fire and a little dizzy. I might need to lie down. I did drink half that bottle.

"You really want to know what I think."

"Yea" No not really, I'm pretty sure it's complete bullshit, but hey why not. Plus I am so use to Gabriel telling what he thinks no matter what that it's weird when nobody does that. I really do miss my brother. It's only been like twelve days since Jimmy passed but he isn't the same.

"Well I think you still love him." Okay that is all I need to hear. It's time to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?" I hear Balthazar call after me as I get up to go back into house. I don't bother to say anything. I can't talk to him right now or maybe at all. How can I talk to him? He doesn't get it. Hell I don't get it. I don't understand it sometimes. I want and need Dean in my life but I don't want to get back together with him. Us being together isn't a good idea. It would only end bad and I couldn't handle that.

You know what I am done with trying to explain to people why I am friends with him. If I want to be friends with him then it only concerns me. It's not like I actually care. There is nothing that anybody can say to get me to stay away from him. Fuck whoever has something to say.

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**So what do you think?**

**Let me guess?**

**"Who the hell is Nick and what did he do?**

**Does Cas still love Dean?**

**Has Dean changed?**

**Has anybody else figured out that Jo is pregnant**

**Let me know what you think**

**Don't forget to review. . **


	3. Chapter 3 Gabriel

**Hey guys **

**So just an update I moved in with my boyfriend. I promise you that has nothing to with the story. I only mention this because our place needs a lot of work and it might be a little slow with the updates. I prmise I won't be too slow **

** thank u for the reviews. Thank you lilith and Sonya for the reviews. Your reviews are my crack.**

**Okay so here is part two. **

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**Chapter 3 Gabriel **

I am a man and it's time I start acting like one. I have spent my entire life acting like an over grown five year old and it's time to stop. First thing I am going to stop is my crying. Like seriously what the hell is wrong with me. I loved my father because he was my father and I have great memories of him when I was young but we weren't exactly close. I barley talked to the man. I have no idea who he was. I think we talk once every three months for a total of three minutes and our conversations were always awkward. I didn't know him and he didn't know me. We were family but absolute strangers. Why does it hurt whenever I think of him? Why do I miss him so much?

Whatever the reason might be I need to get over it. He might have been my blood but he isn't my family. You know when I think about it, him not being my family really sucks. Not that I am complaining. The family that I do have can really piss me off sometimes but I would never ask for anybody else. Cotton, Cassie, Dean and even Balthy, they are my family and I need to rejoin my family again.

I'll miss my daddy and it sucks he stop being part of my family. I will always carry the wish that we could become family again but he is gone but the rest is still here. So I have man up and reassume my role in this very dysfunctional family. I have to continue being there for my baby brother. Poor boy has a case of P.T.S.D. and on top of that he loses his last living parent. I wouldn't be surprised if we have to send him to the funny farm somewhere down the line.

Cassie acts like he doesn't care but I know better. He isn't sad or in denial like some people may think. He is angry. What exactly is he angry about? I don't know. He is starting to keep to himself again. No I'm wrong. He only talks to Dean. Please don't get me started on them. Look bottom line my baby brother is going though something and it hurts me even more knowing that something wrong and that I can't help. I have always been there for him. I have always been his safety net. I have always held his hand and now it's starting to seem like he doesn't need me. I hate thinking that. He might have grown up but he needs to know I will always be here for him. It's just sad because I don't think he knows. I need to make sure he knows it.

I also need to make sure that me Balthy have a strong bond. In so many ways he takes after my father. Now I love my brother and we do have a relationship but we aren't as close as we should be. We were close one upon a time but after my father left him our legal guardian things changed. My father left soon as we my ninth grade year ended and my brother was there the whole summer.

But soon as my brother left for college things changed. At first he came home every weekend but as the weeks past he stop coming. Don't get me wrong Balthy did come on holidays and breaks but after a while he was barley there. Of course he called to make sure we were okay and he made sure we kept our grades up but he became a ghost.

I get that he was young and his life was just beginning but nobody ask him to become our father. I just wanted him to continue to be my cool big brother. I never wanted to become the big brother but that's what I became. I was always closer to Cassie. I think it's because we aren't that far apart in age but I still wanted to know him. I still know him though but not the way I'd like him. If I had to compare our relationship I would say our relationship would be the same as a die-hard fan and a celebrity. I know all about him but he knows shit about me except that I am madly in love with a beautiful girl, my best friend happens to be the guy who broke our baby brother's heart, and that I sometimes act like Cassie's father . Don't tell nobody I said that. I am told I act like Cassie's dad all the time but I don't want that in his head. I don't want to be his father. I just want to be his brother and friend.

I admit that I am angry with Balthy from time to time. I am angry that he left us. I am angry he is closer to Cassie, and I am angry he knew our father better than the two of us. That's right, Balthy talked to my dad more, he saw him more. In fact when I think about it their relationship didn't change. My dad kept his relationship with him intact. Meanwhile he abandon me and Cassie.

I'm not pissed my father talked to him. It's not his fault. I can't be mad at him , It's not Balthazar's fault. However I am pissed at him that he refuses to tell me stories of my father. For the last two weeks I have been asking to tell him things about the man I will never know again. You'd think he would tell me but he but he won't. Whenever I ask he gives me some bull shit about there being no point. He's dead and gone. Let's just move forward. That shit just makes me angry. It makes me angry but I need to get over it. I need to take this whole experience and learn from it. Life is short and there is no time to hold grudges. He is my brother and I plan to make our relationship stronger.

Now here is a big shocker but I need to make sure that me and Dean are cool. Now we are getting along but I still think he will spill the beans any day now. He's getting closer and closer to Cassie by the day. I don't need him telling my brother anything. He couldn't handle it now. It might sound selfish but it's not. If you were in my shoes you would understand. I know my brothers deserves the truth but I can only tell him when he isn't in a fragile state of mind. I have to make sure that mine's and Dean bond is strong enough to keep this secret.

I plan to get to all of them in time but right now I have to focus on the strongest relationship I have. I have to make sure I am there for Jo before anything. She is my back bone , the love of mu life, she is my everything. I need to be there for her.

Ever since my father died, I haven't been there for her. I haven't been the boy she expects. I say boy because I was treating our relationship like it was one between two children. Crazy thing is she never ask me to grow up. She never ask me more than I was capable of.

I love her for that. My Cotton has always loved me for who I was and now I know she deserves more. That's why I am going to give her more starting now. She might think I have been a blubbering idiot these past weeks and you know what I admit I was. Just because I was a tad upset doesn't mean I didn't pick up on what's been going on with her. Hell I picked up on it before those two soldiers showed up at my door. I just never had time to talk to her.

Well everything ends today. My father has died, his body has been flown in, we had his funeral, and we packed up his house. Nothing left to do but have a conversation with the one person I will grow old with.

"Hey Cotton." I say as I walk into our bedroom. I am trying to channel the perky part of my personality.

"Hey you." She says as she lays in our bed. Poor thing has been throwing up the last half hour.

"How are you feeling?" I ask as I walk over to her.

"Better now. I think I finally kicked whatever virus it was. She says giving me a half fake half loving smile.

"You sure it was a virus." I say as I sit next to her.

"What else would it be?" she says sitting up. I know why she is pretending. I get it. My father just died and she doesn't want to dump anything else on me.

"I only ask because usually when a person catches a virus it goes way after a week at the longest but this has been going on longer than that. Hasn't it? " I say as I lean forward to look into those beautiful brown eyes of hers.

"Son of a bitch you know." She says a little angry. Why is she angry? I am confused. Oh wait I know.

"I do and it's okay. I am not freaking out. I'm actually happy about it." It's like the only thing that made me pull myself together.

"You're happy about it. You're actually happy about me being pregnant." She says like she is in disbelief.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" I ask a little confused.

"Oh I don't know. How about your father just died. We are still in school. Which means we still very young. I'm not even old enough to drink."

"Yeah but that didn't stop you. Thank god for Khali right." I say as I try to lighten the mood.

"Gabriel, baby let's be serious right now." She says as she grabs my face.

"I am trying to be serious with you." I say as I grab her face. "I love you and I always imagined we have kids once we were married and have finished school but I'm okay with this happening now."

"You are?" Okay I'm not getting a good feeling here. I imagined this conversation going a whole lot different. I thought I tell her I knew she was pregnant, I'd tell her I'm happy about it and we celebrate by doing the nasty all night.

"You aren't. We always said we'd have little Dwayne or Stacy."

"I never agreed to those names." She says as she pulls her knees to her chest. What the hell? Wry is she acting like this. We are having a baby.

"I know but I always hoped you would change your mind."

"Well I haven't. I don't like any of those names." Okay that was a little too ignorant.

"Well it's not like I had my heart set on them. We can think of new names" I say as I try to be more mature. Truth is I really liked those names and I hate that she just let me believe that would be the name of our kids.

"Why are you so okay with this?"

"Because I am. Are you not okay with this?" Maybe she scarred. Yeah that's it. Becoming a parent is scary to a lot of people. At least that is what I read online. Yes I already did my research. The minute I realize she was pregnant I went straight online on what to expect.

"No, and that is normal for girls my age. How are you okay with his? Matter of fact how did you know I was even pregnant? Was it the morning sickness?" Okay I have to be carful. She is hormonal and she is freaking out.

"I know you Cotton." I say a little embarrassed.

"And that means?" I guess I have to spell it it out for her.

"I pay attention to you. Ever wonder why I never even try to make love to you when your period id on."

"No, I always figured you knew it was that time of the month." She says a little calmer.

"I always knew. In fact I always knew exact day you were getting your monthly." I say a little grossed out.

"You did? How?" She ask in disbelief.

"Okay" I say after taking a deep breath. "It's not like I set out to keep a record your cycle but I somehow kept track of your mood swings and after a while it became second nature on to when to touch you and when to not. So after you missed your monthly visitor after like three days I started to notice."

"You did?"

"I did and I want wanted to say something but I wanted to wait for you to notice, after a while I wanted to say something but then everything else happen."

I wait for her to respond because it appears she is in shock. I got to say I love the fact that I can still shock her after all this time. Yes I am counting the time where we were just friends. As far as I am concerned we were together off and on in high school. She might see it that way and it might sound crazy but I don't care.

"Gabriel, I don't know what to say." She finally says as she keep a bewilder look on her face.

"You don't have to say anything. All you need to do is know that I am always going to be here and I will give you everything you still want. It's just going to go a little differently now. " I say as I grab her hand in mine to hold them up.

"I don't want anything to go differently. I like the ways things are." Okay I am starting to get a bad vibe. Maybe it's the feeling that death is still around. I really need to shake this feeling soon. It's really not a pleasant feeling.

"Things don't; have to go differently. We can still keep things on the same track." We can just speed them up a little." I say before I kiss both of her hands.

"I don't think you understand what I mean." She says with such guilt in her eyes.

"Of course I do. I know you better than ever." I wish I knew why she feels so guilty. Maybe it has something with what we went through last year and what I said to her. I admit every once in a while I do feel like I want to be with another girl but hey I am only human. Plus I remember that she is the only one for me.

"Do you really?" She ask with tears in her eyes.

"Of course my love, why wouldn't I?"

"Gabby." I love it when she calls me that. I know it might sound gay it doesn't bother me. I mean come on how could it. Have you met me. I believe I have an inner diva who rules my personality from time to time. " I know you and I know everything about you too. I know everything you have been though and I think I have a idea of what is going through your mind, Which why I think you might be not thinking straight." That feeling that I mention before is now becoming stronger. Time to put a ending to it.

"I know you are concerned but you have no reason to be. You think I haven't thought this though, but I have. We are secure enough to start a family even though it's unexpected. You're worried about finishing school but fear not you will. I might not have all of my trust fund but I have enough of it to carry us thought the next few years until I get one hundred percent of it. Hell if you want we can get full access to it if you marry me."

"Are you asking me to marry you? " Wow I think I might. I always thought the way I proposed to her would be different. No strike that I always knew how I would propose and this is totally different."

"I am" I say a little bit unsure." I know I want to marry her but this isn't how I imagine I imagined it would go.

"Are you sure you want to ask me that, right here and right now." Here comes that nasty feeling in my gut. Maybe it's just nerves. Maybe fate knew I would end up doing this and my nerves knew before I did. I hope that make sense.

"Yes" I say unsure. Maybe it's nerves. Isn't this what every guy feels like proposing. Aren't we all afraid of rejection?

"Gabriel" My beloved says with tears in her eyes. Okay I am afraid of rejection. That's got to be it. There is now other reason. This nasty feeling that I feeling is just nerves.

"You want to marry me?"

"Since the day I laid eyes on you when you hair of Cotton Candy." I am starting to feel better. The more we talk the better I feel. Take that bad feeling.

" I ..I …I ..I-"

"I know this is sudden. Just take a deep breath." It's not sudden. I tell her all the time I want to marry her. Now I get that I always said I wanted to married a few years from now, but hey why not do this now. We're having a baby and it's not planned but, hey why not go with the flow?

"Just take a deep breath and tell you the first thing to come to my mind." She says with such nerves.

"Yes." I say as I tell that bad feeling in my gut to go away. There is nothing she can say to ruin us.

"Gabriel I don't want to have this baby." Expect that.

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**I know no Dean or Cas but they will return.**

**Lilith aren't you the one who said Gabriel might propose. Well he did but what about Jo's answer.****To everything else**

**What did you think?**

**what do you think will happen between these two,**

**Think they can work it out. Think Gabriel will object. **

**what you do think about Gabriel's inner thought's.**

**Did you miss Dean and Cas?**

**Tell me what you think? **


	4. Chapter 4 Dean

**Hello evvery one,**

**So guess who stayed home on a Friday night. That's right this girl right here. Not only did I stay home but I am home alone. The boyfriend had to work and I told my friends to go out with out me, I know I know what is wrong with me, but I think staying home and having quiet time is important don't you. I know Jo thinks that. Oh know I think I have said too much. **

**Anyways thanks for the reviews and the views.**

**Thank you Sonya, don't think I haven't noticed you have been with me since part 1. I am so happy and grateful. I Laughed when I saw your review. I think you might be right. These couple do need therapy but I doubt they know that plus where is the fun in that. Love you boo**

** Thank you Lilith, I'm glad I could make you freak out (in a god way of course.) You have no idea how happy I was to see how detailed your review was. It means so much to me. You took you time to tell me your thoughts, don't think I didn't notice that. Thank you for wishing me luck. It is fun but also a pain. I just spent the last two days painting my new three bedroom house. I think you are right about Jo and Gabriel relationship. It is going to be tough and to be honest I feel backed into a corner, but I can't wait to see how I get myself out of it. Love you too boo. **

**To alice thank you for reviewing, I know you want the whole Cornell thing to come out and I promise you it will and it will be good but I can't do it right now. I think our fab four has other things to deal with, but since you are a loyal viewer I will give you this. Warning spoiler. It will come out when all four of our couples are all going at each other. but thank you for reviewing I love you too. **

**To arkam zombie thank you so much. Thank you for the pm's thank you for reviewing on every chapter. Thank you for not giving up. You wanted a dean pov. Well ask and you shall received.**

**Okay I'm done thanking thank everybody and won't hold you up any more.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**Peace and love Alex**

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**Chapter 4 Dean**

Okay so when I moved in with Gabriel and Jo I had this pretty cool idea of what it would be. Not going to bore you with details but I did think it would be fun. I thought the three of us would like together in harmony without a care in the world. I mean why not. We aren't your average twenty year olds. Well Gabriel is twenty-one now so we now never have a problem getting beer or liquor. Not to mention that he has a trust fund so I don't have to pay rent. What twenty year old college student you know living on their own doesn't have to pay bills. I swore I would have a care in world. Not to mention that Cas would live with us on and off. I thought it couldn't get any better.

Now all I am thinking that can get better. Seriously things are so bad, that I want to go back home. Now don't get me wrong. There wasn't a problem at my family house, I just wanted to be able to have company over without having to sneak them in. I know you probably thinking, how bad can it be living with your best friends and cousin. Well let me tell you. First Captain Novak died. Poor guy, his body was so bad they couldn't have an open casket.

Now with The Captain dying, things kind of just went downhill from there. Gabriel cried like every day. Jo threw up and slept every day. I'm pretty sure she's pregnant but she just doesn't want to say yet. If I had known she was pregnant I wouldn't have moved in. Crying babies are really good when you want to have sex. But I am stuck here and I am kind of excited and I am willing to help out every way I can. Okay now on top of everything that is going on individually with them. They are having problems as a couple. Talk about awkward mornings. These can't even say good morning to each other. They try everything in their power not to directly talk to each other. I swear it's annoying.

Besides Jo and Gabriel there is also Balthazar. Oh this guy. I don't like him and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I really can't stand him. He has this whole obnoxious attitude about him, not to mention some fake ass accent. Whenever I am in the same room as him my skin crawls. He always has some smart ass comment to say or a reason I should leave. I really can't stand the guy but because of his brothers I manage to muster up the restraint to be respectful though Captain's Novak funeral. Of course the sun of a bitch decided he wanted to move in here for a while. SO now I have to live under the same roof as him. The only good thing about that is he is living in Gabriel's finished basement. So since he doesn't live upstairs, I don't run into him too much, but I still run into him too much.

The only silver lining about any of this is Cas. Yes he is the only reason I haven't packed my shit. Out of everybody he hasn't changed. Of course he is a little different but that is to be expected. His father died and although he wants to act like he doesn't care I know he still does. Hell is my father died tomorrow I would be upset. I guess he is trying to be strong. With Gabriel acting like a hysterical school girl and Balthazar drinking his pain away, I guess he figures someone has to keep it together.

Yeah having Cas around makes it easier living there but then again it is so hard. I think I am starting to see why exes can't be friends. It's so hard. Whenever I see him my heart just stops. I'm telling you any and every cliché you can think of describes how I feel. While I am happy to have in my life and down the hall, I hate being his friend. I still love and want to be with him . I just wish he felt the same way. Hell at this point I would settle for a fraction of what he felt. All I need is a glimmer of hope. That is all I need. Just give me that and I promise I will spend the rest of my life doing any and everything to make him happy.

"Doritos" My beautiful blue eyed angel asks breaking my train of thought.

"Yeah sure" I say as I come back to reality. Glad he broke me out of it. I was about to go into this whole fantasy of what if. You know what if we never broke up, what if I was never with Bella.

"Okay then." He says as he throws in the cart I am pushing. I don't bother to speak. I am too mesmerized by how blue his eyes are.

"Cas buddy I don't see what's the point of this."

"The point is for everybody to get out. We all have our share of problems and I think we have been cooped up in the house. I think maybe if we all get out there will be less tension."

"I don't see how a concert in the park will help any of us. Balthazar is an ass and JO and Gabriel are just too much for me right now. I never thought I say this but I prefer them to argue."

"Ha", he says as he laughs. Like I just told some joke.

"I don't see what's so funny."

"I know Dean, but you will someday."

"Please explain." I ask as he looks at bread. You know normally I hate coming to the supermarket but with him I don't mind. It's another what if in my mind. I like to imagine that this is what it would be like if we lived together.

"How" I ask as we head down another aisle.

"I like to think I know those two better as a couple so I know how uncomfortable their silence can be."

"So getting them out the house will help them talk to each other." I say as I smile at him. He doesn't see and I thank god. I didn't want him to see the way I looked at him. I know I looked at him like I loved him and couldn't wait to get home. It wasn't a look a friend exchanges with a friend. Man I wish I could kiss him.

"It will give us a break." He says as he tosses spinach dip into the cart.

"No not that." I say as I put it back.

"Why not?" Cas as he turns his head to the side. God he looks so sexy. Now I don't want to tell him the reason.

"I don't like spinach dip." I say lying to him.

"You don't like it or you don't want it."

"I don't want it." I say as I feel myself starting to sweat.

"Have you ever had it? It's quite good."

"Not the point Cas. I just don't want it."

"Oh really." He says as making eye contact with me. OH god I hate it when he does this. I know he is reading my soul when he does this. Do I sound dramatic? A little, but hey you would feel the same way.

"Tell me Dean. I want to know. Why don't you want the dip?" Damn him. I swear he knows if he looks at me like that for too long I bare my soul. Now if only he would ask me if I still love him and need his body.

"It gives me gas. Like really bad gas. One taste and I will be letting it ripe all night." I think I have said too much but I couldn't stop myself.

"Oh" he says as he turns back towards the dip like he is contemplating his next thought. "You know come to think about it you never farted in front of me. Not since the ninth grade." He say as he looks back at me.

"Well" Damn it now i don't know what to say. What do I say?

"Dean… Dean is that you?" Oh thank you whoever is up there? I have no idea who is in back of me but I am forever in their debt for interrupting.

Now that voice does sound familiar. I know it but I can't picture a face. I guess I have no choice but to turn around and see who it is.

"Gordon" I say surprised after I tuned around. Wow I didn't think he knew my name? I sat a few seats down from him in my Justice class. I kind of always noticed him but I thought it was pointless to say something.

"Hey stranger, Long time no see?" He says with such an adorable smile. Oh god what am I saying. Cas is right behind me.

"Yeah it's been a while. How's it going? Haven't seen you since the semester ended." He says as he leans against a shelf.  
"Yeah I know, but I was hoping I see you around sometime. I mean it is a small town." Is he flirting with me.

"Kind of went out of town. I didn't think anybody would notice." I say trying to remain cool. This might all be going on in my head. There is no way the universe is that cruel, there is no way some guy I have the hot's for would hit on me in front of the guy I am carrying around unrequited love for. Life isn't that unfair.

"How could someone not notice you missing? I mean you are kind of hard to miss." Damn it. What the fuck? Is this a test? Am I being punished?

"I like to think that?" What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I even engaging this guy? Cas is right behind me. Then again we are just friends. Maybe me flirting will spark a little jealousy in him.

"Well tell you what?" he says with a small chuckle. "Why don't you give me your number? So that way I won't have to worry about you missing?"

Okay now I have taken this too far. It's one thing to flirt but to give someone else my number. Now I'm confused. Would this be considered disrespectful?

"Well I…I.. I..um-"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't sure but now I see."

"See what?" I ask confused.

"I wasn't sure if you and him were together or just friends, but I get it. I'm sorry I didn't mean any disrespect."

"What!" I said that a little too fat and too loud. "Cas and I are just friends. He likes girls too. I'm not with him." Okay now I'm running my mouth. I need to shut up.

"Just friend." Gordon asks a little confused.

"Right Cas. What the-" I don't believe my eyes. As I turn to get confirmation from Cas who I thought was watching the whole thing, I find him stealing. I can't believe it. AS I watch him he is stuffing bottles of liquor in his oversized pants. I was wondering why he hand those things on.

"Right." Gordon says as I turn to look at him. "Give me your phone."

"Here." I say handing him my phone. I am too shocked to protest. I am too busy trying to figure out why Cas feels like he needs to steal something. He has never stolen anything a day in his life. He never needed to. He always had the money. I know we aren't old enough to by booze, but the same homeless guy we always gets to buy it for us lives in the same alley. Plus Gabriel and Balthazar are both old enough to buy it. It just doesn't make sense the house has become a fully stocked bar.

"Here you go?" Gordon says as he hands me back my phone. " I put my number in there and I want you to call or text me sometime. Either one I don't mind."

"You did what?" I say not really knowing what is going on.

"I gave you my number but I should warn you if I don't hear from you in a week I will be the one calling you. I called my phone from yours." Damn this guy and his take charge attitude. Does he thinks that I secretly love a take charge guy.

"Message received." I say as I push the thought of us rolling around naked out of my head.

"Good, I look forward to your call." He says before he disappears down the aisle.

I stand there watching him walk away. Not because I like looking at his body but because I am afraid to turn around. If I turn around and Cas is still shoving things down his pants, then I have to ask him about it and I kind of don't want to. I'm a little afraid of the answer. Maybe if I say something before I turn around he will stop.

"Cute." Damn him for beating me to the punch. Wait was he listening the whole time.

"Nobody is ugly Cas." I say as I turn around to find him looking at something else. I wonder if he plans to take that too.

"I beg to differ. I have woken up to a few questionable looking people in the past."

"Really." Is he trying to make me jealous? Is he mad that I flirted with someone in front of him. "You never told me that?" I say as I try to remain cool. Look I know we are friends but I still hate the thought of him being with somebody else. I don't want him to be with anybody but me. All he has to is give me a hint I would drop any and everybody if it mean s we can be together. I hate this whole being friend's thing. Every day when I wake up my heart breaks but I have nobody to blame but myself. He was mine for four years and I though him away like yesterday's paper.

"You never asked Dean?" He says he throws something the cart. I am too much in my head to pay attention to what it is.

"Guess I didn't I say." As I start to wonder if I should mention what's in his pants. I can't help but wonder if maybe I am overthinking it.

"So are you going to call him?" Is this part of the test? I honestly have no idea how to answer that. Would I be wrong for calling Gordon? It's not like I am getting any from Cas.

"I don't know" I say as guilt starts to wash over me. Damn him, I am starting to miss the days where we didn't talk. At least it was easier to justify my actions.

"You should call him." Is he serious? He really thinks I should call him. I was expecting that or did I want him to say that.

"I should." I say trying to train cool while I am freaking out on the inside.

"Yeah why not? Might be good for you." Why not? Why not? Oh I don't know maybe because I am crazy about you and I want you to tell me to ease his number.

"You might be right." I say thinking that I should start a game of chicken. You know just to test him. Just to see if I should even try to move on. I don't think am in a healthy place when it comes to Cas.

"I am Dean. As your friend I think you should get out there and date guys. I know you been with a lot but you should try to seek more."

"I wouldn't say many." I know he isn't talking. By my and Gabriel's count he should be somewhere up in the fifties. I know it might be gross when you think about it but hey he always used a condom. I know for a fact I am the only person he never strapped up with.

"I am not judging you Dean, I'm just saying. We are young. Why shouldn't we date as many people as possible?" Oh I don't maybe because we are soul mates, but I guess we are just putting that on the back burner for now.

"You're right. Tell you what? Why don't we have a double date?" It's time to play chicken. I know he doesn't mean the shit he is saying. Cas just wants to put on a brave face.

"I would love too but I am not dating anybody right now. I been a little too busy to meet people." He says as we walk up to the checkout line.

"Like you need to put in an effort. All you have to do is bat those baby blues of yours and you got a date."

"You really think so."

"Yes." I say as I look for any sign of him ready to break. I know in my gut he doesn't want to double date with me. Who would want to double date with their ex and their ex's girlfriend or boyfriend.

"Okay, you have a point, but who would I ask out." Excuses excuses. Looks like I am about to break him.

"The checkout girl. She's cute." I say as I feel like I am winning.

"She is cute. I wonder if she has a boyfriend?" he says as we start to put our things on the belt.

"Who cares, I know better than anybody that even if you are in a relationship when you come along you can't pass up an opportunity." Oh god I need to stop. I think I am giving him an actually pep talk. I actually sound like I want him to ask her out.

"You know what. You're right, I'm going to ask her out."

Oh crap.

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**Please don't forget to bitch and moan aka Review lol**

**Don't forget to review'**

**don;t forget to reveiw**

**don't forget to review. **


	5. Chapter 5 Gabriel

**Hello everyone,**

**Sorry i been away for almost a week, but i just got a kitten and i been busy training it and working, and fixing up my house. **

**But I am back with a longer than usually chapter. I hope you guys like .**

**Thank you for the reviews.**

**To Alice: A double date would be comical your right but at the present moment i am unsure how that would go. Not to worry i do have an idea about Dean, Cas, and their dates interacting. **

**To Arkam, For a minute i thought you gave up on me but i see you didn;t and i thank you for that. i promise you a epic love story. To your reveiw i will say this Gordon i snot the same guy but we will explore his character. To what what you said about Cas, his behavior is getting scary. I promise a reason as to why? **

**To Lilith i know you might be confosed but in due time it will be relieved. Not to worry about a short review. Any review is a good review.**

**DON;T FORGET TO REVIEW!**

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**Chapter 5 Gabriel**

You ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right. From the time you get up to the time you lay back in your bed and close your eyes, any and everything goes wrong. That's the time of day I am having. Nothing about this day has gone right and all. I want to is just have a drink or four in peace and then go to bed, but I know that isn't going to happen. I have too many people living in my house. I have four other people living there and without a doubt I know for a fact at least two of them is going to want a talk.

Fuck, Sometimes I just wish they would shut up and leave me alone. Sometimes I wish for a day where either everybody just goes out or at the very least they would stay in their room all day. It sucks that I am just wishfully thinking. God I just need a day. Just one day to myself where nobody needs me, wants to hang out, or want to talk. I need that day. I need that today. Today was one of days that will always stay with me.

Today, I woke up and looked at the beautiful woman I share a bed with and I felt nothing but betrayal. I use to be so happy to see her face, but now all I feel is hurt when I look at her. Then o got dresses and went down to breakfast with Cassie, Balthy, and Deano. Jo decided to sleep in and I actually was happy about it. Normally I wake up her up because I want to spend time with her before I go off to work. So any way back to breakfast.

When I sat down to eat pour me a bowl of Lucky Charms, I found out that Deano ate the last of them. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but damn it that's my cereal. I only have one rule when it comes to living with me. All I ask is that you don't eat my damn cereal. You can eat the last of whatever else is here but if you eat my Lucky Charms than I want to fight you. I didn't fight him thought. I just gave him several dirty looks. Friends hit friends.

So after I ate my back up cereal Fruity Pebbles I went to work. Now I don't know if I had told you but I work for Walmart. I know it's not a glamourous job and I barely make chicken scratch. Hell I laugh every time I see my check and then I feel sad. I feel sad because people actually live off that type of income. I have no idea how people do it.

Anyway soon as I clocked in I got called into the mangers office. Apparently I was schedule to work the other day and I never showed up. That's right I was no call no show so they let me go. I swear its such bull shit and I tried to let my manger know that. Of course I did it as nice as I could, but I don't think it was that nice. Ever since my father died I haven't been in the best sprits. I have been very short with people. I have zero tolerance for stupid questions. My manger of course didn't want to talk about it. He just gave me some speech about being disappointed in me and how she expected better from me. I think she likes to hear herself talk.

I know I don't need this job but I like working. I like getting up every day. Working actually makes me feel good about myself. I honestly don't understand how Cassie can just sit around and just depend on his trust fund. I know we each get ten million right off the back. Shit just sitting around can get boring. I don't even cash my checks. I just deposit them in an account that I never touch. I am saving that account for a rainy day. If a rainy day comes we still would get wet.

Okay so after I left Walmart for the last time I hoped in my car and started driving around looking for something to do. I had no idea what to do or where to go but I knew I didn't want to go home. Going home would only help me crack more.

After about an hour of driving I decided to go see a movie. There was this new Marvel movie I wanted to see. I was supposed to go with Jo but I just didn't want to. So about half way to the movies my car breaks down. How and what happen is beyond me. My car just passed inspection a month ago. I looked under the hood but I had no idea what I was looking at. My dad never taught me about cars. I guess he never really cared to bother. He knew how to fix them but whenever he did he always made sure me and my brothers were nowhere near him. Whenever me and Cassie came outside just to watch he would make us go back in the house. I did ask my mother at some point and she would say that every adult needs alone time. I guess I understood what she meant. I just thought that was something a father did with his sons.

So since my so called wonderful father never taught me anything about cars I had to wait for Triple A. I had to wait for them for three hours. Why it took them three hours is beside me? The messed up part is I broke down on a back road with nothing in sight. So I had nothing to do but play on my cell phone. Of course I forgot my charger. So my phone died within twenty minutes. I was so pissed. I had been stuck on this one level of Candy Crush for like a week and I was one move away from beating it when my phone decided to go.

By the time I got towed and was told what was wrong with my car I was pissed. I have no idea what the guy said but the bottom line was I'd be better getting a new car. I guess that's what I get for accepting a car my father bought me. I should have known he'd buy me some piece of crap car.

By time all this was over I decided to go home. It's now dinner time and there's no point on staying out. Hell, I'm afraid if I stay out more things are to come. I just feel like I need to lock myself in a room and not come out for a long time and that's what I plan to do. Soon as I step in the house I am going straight to the attic with a bottle of some strong and my ipod, which I alos left home. At least that is what I thought I was going to do.

Soon as I got in the house I find my girlfriend of two years and some change in a candle lit dining room. I hate the fact that she is standing there looking so fucking beautiful. She has on this sexy emerald green dress that falls to the middle of her thighs. My god she looks great. The dress is cut just low enough where are boobs are noticeable but it's not slutty. Damn her for where her hair down. It' has that look where it's wild but tamed and just a tiny bit of her bangs are in her face. Fuck, she knows what she is doing. Damn her and he sexy five inch peep toes heels. She knows I like this shit.

Damn it I have to keep it together. I am mad at her and no matter how she looks won't change anything. I should say something thought. We have been standing here looking at each other for like five minutes. I can tell that she wants me to say something, but what? Should I tell her she looks beautiful? Should I tell her how I really feel? What the fuck should I say?

"What's this?" I say very dry? I should really thank her for cooking her me dinner or should I say dessert. Everything on the table would be considered desert. From the Brownies, to the cupcakes , all the way to the apple pie. Umm I should eat that first; Dean will eat that in one sitting.

"This is for you?" she says a little nervous. It's funny I never seen her like this. Whenever she surprised me like this she is more confident. She must know she messed up. Whenever we have an evening like this there is actually real food. She never made me dessert for dinner. IF I wasn't so angry to her I would sit down and eat everything with a smile on my face, but I can't. I have to stand my ground. Especially on today of all days, I need a win. I just need something to go in favor.

"Where is everybody?" I ask as I look around.

"Out" Wow she is really is nervous. I can hear so many in that one little word.

"Where?" I ask trying to figure out where the hell they could be.

"Not really sure. Balthazar just said he was going out and to no wait up. Cas and Dean went out together, although they were acting really strange before they left the house.

"I'll say you should have seen them this morning." I'm not lying they were acting really starnge this morning.

"You don't have to tell me. I was home with them all day."

"Think we lost." I ask wondering if I put if I put my money down for the wrong date and time,

"Better not. I want my money." She says giving me a soft smile.

"Oh and what about me, I made my own bet on those two."

"Hey all's fair." I know she meant that as a joke but I can't help but feel a little twinge in my chest. She just hit a little too close to home for me.

"Remember that when I win." Okay yes we both made a bet on Cassie and Deano. In fact we all did. Yes Me, Jo, Balthazar, and Meg all bet fifty bucks on when those two would end up back in the sack. Don't judge us though. If you were friends with them you would do the same thing, especially after they disappeared on us in Mexico. They wouldn't say what they were doing but they didn't have too we already knew.

"I will if you agree to sit and have dessert for dinner with me." She says snapping me out of my thoughts. Everything in me wants to sit down and eat these tasty desserts but I can't. How can I sit here with her and pretend nothing is wrong when she wants to kill my child. My child something we made together.

"Jo-"

"Jo, you only call me that when-"

"I know" I say as I see disappointment and sadness grow in her face. It breaks my heart seeing her like this. She had such hope in her eyes when I walked in and I have crushed it.

"Please just sit down with me. We don't have to talk. We can have a drink if you want?" Is she serious? Is she fucking serious? She's fucking pregnant and she wants to have a drink?

"You can't have a drink?" I say as I try to remain clam.

"Then sit down and have some dessert with then." She says as she motions towards the table.

"I-"

"Please." She begs in such a small voice.

"Fine." I say as I take a seat at the head of out dining room table. Thank god we have a table that sits four on each side. I can't be too close to her right now.

"Thank you." She says as I lean over the table to grab the pie. I think I should at least get a taste of it before Dean comes home.

"So" she says after a few minutes of silence.

"So" I say trying to not to say much. This pie is too good and it's putting me in a better sprit. I hate that no matter what she knows how to make feel a little bit better. Damn her and her attentive girlfriend behavior. Why can't we just see eye to eye on this one thing?

"Are we ever going to talk about it or our we just going to pretend like nothing is wrong and wait for me to take care of it, so we can act like nothing ever happen.

"What?" I ask as I drop my fork.

"You heard me." She says ashamed. She should be. How dare she say that to me? How dare she think it's normal dinner conversation.

"I believe I heard you say you are taking care of it." Oh god my heart is racing. This can't be happening.

"I am Gabriel. In three days it will all be over." She says like it's the hardest thing in the world.

"Just like that." I say as I find it hard to look at her. Don't get me wrong I believe every woman has a right to choose but that's only when the odds are against them. Why should a woman get an abortion when she is fully supported?

"Don't think for one minute it was an easy decision." She almost got me there. For a second I thought the tears in her were real. Like she really struggled with it, but she didn't. If she thought about it she wouldn't do this.

"It doesn't matter what I think. You have made that very clear to me." I say as I rest on my elbows with my hands folded together.

"Is that what you think?" She says as if I offended her. "Don't you think for a minute I haven't considered throughout this. I have thought of you every second."

"Right." I really have nothing to say to her. I can barely look at her.

"Yes I have and because I have thought of you I think us being parents isn't the best right now."

"How?" I ask as I try to keep my emotions in check. Maybe I need to hear her side before I judge her.

"How did I arrive at my decision?" she ask looking at me confused.

"Yes." Great she has been hanging around my brother too long. She is starting to pick up on his habits. She actually has her head turned to the side and her eyes squinted.

"Well …..I listed the pros and cons."

"Without me." I say as I sit back in my chair.

"Okay I see your point. I should have done it with you."

"Yes you should have."

"Okay so let's do it now." Is she serious? She wants to talk about it after she made up her mind? Okay, maybe I can change her mind. Maybe that is what she wants me to do. God help us.

"Fine." I say as I get up to go sit beside her. "I'll go first." I say as I pull a chair right beside her.

"Go ahead." She says after I stare into her eyes for a minute. I have to do this. I still love her and I'm afraid that things might change for the worse. I needed to get one last look in before I jump off this cliff.

"Pro, we are in a unique situation at our age. We might be young but we are financially stable. We can afford to take care of a baby. I mean come on we already own a house." Wow I can feel my heart beat all over. I mean I can actually feel it in my wrist.

"Con I don't own a house you do. I just live here. My name isn't on anything.-"

"I can put your name on the deed tomorrow if you want."

"Gabriel let me finish."

"I'm sorry."

"Like I was saying" she says after she gives me a serious look. "We might be financially stable but we aren't in the right mind set to have a baby. I am only twenty. I want to finish school then work for a while."

"You can do that. We can hired a nanny if you want."

"I don't want to hire anybody. I want us to do it all. I want us to be more emotionally stable."

"We are stable." I argue as I feel like she is any near considering changing her mind.

"Yes we are in a good place but I want to stay here for a while. I want more time with you. I want it to just be us for a while and you told me you didn't want to have kids for a while."

"I know I said that but that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to have a child with you if it happen before we planned." I say as I feel my eyes start to swell up.

"I know baby and if this would have happen at a different time then I might think differently but it didn't. It happen now and I don't think it's the right time."

"What do you mean?" As if I didn't know. I know what she means. I just want to hear her say it. Everybody I know has been treating me like some kind of special case and I thought she would be the one person who wouldn't. I thought she would understand grief. I thought she would understand me. I thought she would get it, but I am starting to see she doesn't.

"You father died."

"Same no more." I say as I get up. I can't even look at her no more.

"I need to say and you need to here." She says as she stands up behind me. I don't need to stand up to know she is a foot away from me. I can feel her presence no matter where I am.

"I said say no more." As much as I want her to stop talking I know she won't.

"He died Gabriel and you are in a lot of pain. You might have gotten better at hiding it but I know you still feel it. I know he wasn't around much but he was the last parent you had left."

"I know that Jo." I say as I feel my selfish about to burst with tears.

I know I don't have any parents life but I don't need anybody telling me, especially my girlfriend who claims to know me so well.

"You lost both of your parents. You think -"

"That's right I lost both of my parents." I say as I turn around to look at her. I don't care if she sees me cry. wouldn't be the first time. " Congrats Jo you have stated the obvious. My mom died in her thirty's and my father died in his forties so forgive me if I think I won't grow old with you. Forgive me if I see our baby as a blessing and a way to spend more time with him or her before I die.

"You think you are going to die." She ask like she didn't know my mortality

"I know I am going to die young…Both my parents died young Jo and I'm afraid I won't be able to grow old with you. The fact that you are pregnant now just adds to the fear that I will never go grey or lose my gorgeous head of hair. You have to have this baby. I need as much time with it as I possibly can. When I die I don't want my child to feel how I am feeling. I want to know without a doubt that I love them. When I die I want you have more than just my money. I want you to have an actually piece of me."

"Gabriel….I… had no idea." She says with shock and bewildered eyes.

"How could you? You never took the time to ask me. You just made this decision on your own."

"Gabriel-"

"Save it" I say as I find myself walking away from her. I can't look or talk to her away more. I have no idea how I am going to live under same roof as her. I have no idea how we are going to get pass this. I

"Gabriel-"

The last thing I heard was her calling my name before I left the house. Today has been one of the days where all you want to do is just lay down and roll over and unfortunately I can't do that. If I lie down in our bed I will be up just thinking. I can't think right now. I need to drink this night away. I am starting to think Cassie has the right idea. When you drink you can't think straight and if you drink enough you will just pass out.

Yeah, that is what I need to do. I need to drink. I need to go somewhere to forget my problems and just relax. I know just the place too. I have been here a few times over the past year. I actually have been here a lot lately. Like at least three times a week. Jo hasn't really noticed because I always made it home after at a respectable hour, but tonight she is just going to have to be pissed. I need a drink or ten and I know the exactly where to go.

"What's wrong?" The sexy Bartender ask so as I take my seat on my usual stool.

"Can I have my usually please." I don't have to wait long. There is only a few people here but I love how she places a triple shot of Bacardi Limon in front of me as she settles.

"What happen now?" She asks as I notice how her skin glows even in the crappiest of light.

I drown my drink before I say "Khali you aren't going to believe the day I had."

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**So what did you think?**

**How many remember Khali from part 2?**

**WHat do you think will happen with Jo and Gabe?**

**Do you think they have hope?**

**Cas and Dean will be up next?**

**Not to worry i will not keep this pattern up? **

**Anyways i am done?**

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	6. Chapter 6 Dean

**Hello, everyone**

**I hope you all are doing well. First I would like to point out I have a busty work week. I might not be able to update until sometime next week. It's sad because I will barley be home. :(**

**Second but what should of came first I would like to think you guys for the reviews and views. I only wire because of it.**

**To Lilith**

**I am on the same page. I want Gabriel to be smart but who knows what can happen when someone is suffering from grief. Please don't hurt yourself with that wall mami lol **

**To Arkam**

**Even though you came late I am so supper happy to have you. First thank you again for not giving up. I promise you an happy ending at some point. Second I promise you to tell what happen in Mexico . I promise to tell in part 3. Third you are so right about Jo. **

**Third I did change the name. The more I write for Cas and Gabriel the more I think they are disasters don't you agree. Okay I'm done don't forget to review. **

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**Chapter 6 Dean**

Can you say awkward? My double date with Cas has been nothing but awkward. No strike that it has been worse but I can't figure out the word. From the time I suggested a double date to Gordon and him agreeing to the time dessert came every moment has been unbearable.

I don't know what I am surprised. I didn't even want to do this, but my stupid ass had to agree. I never wanted Cas to see me with another man but I was so hell bent on him calling me out. I thought he would finally break, but that son of a bitch just went along with it.

He can say what he want but I know he feels just as uncomfortable as I do. I'm telling dinner was the worse. The four of us shared boring small talk and uneasy looks. When me and Cas wasn't making small talk Gordon and him were making eye contact. Of course I couldn't tell why? Cas acts like he is over me but the way he was looking at Gordon tells me differently. I think he was giving him death stares tells me differently. God I am so confused.

I like Gordon but Love Cas. AT this point I am ready to go either way. If Cas wants me back I will drop any and everyone just to be with me. If Cas doesn't say anything and Gordon does then I might be ready to move on. There's only so long I can play the bad guy. After a while there has be a point in time where it's okay for me to give up. I just wish I knew when and where that time was.

I hate this. I hate that I am torn. I want to be with him but I want to move. Gordon might be my next relationship but I think it might be time to move one. I know I might sound like a jerk but you have to take a step in my shoes. I messed up and I know that and I have tried my best to make up for that. I even tried to just be friends hoping for more but hoping maybe more would come out it, but now I am starting to wonder when enough is enough.

I love Cas. I will always love him but I am afraid it's only one sided. I know it at some point in time it only seemed one sided on his part but it never was like that, I always loved him, I was just to suborn to admit it. I know that was stupid and I know that and I think I just have to own up to it and move on. I have to accept that I have lost a great, powerful, and consuming love. I know if I move on I will never find another love like this again. If I move on the best no the only thing I can do is try and find a love that tries to come close to what we had.

I know we feel in love in high school but I know without a doubt it was the real thing. He touched my soul. He saw me for who I really was and still loved me. There were nights I bared my greatest insecurities to him and he still manage to make me feel secure. He never tried to change me. He really loved me and I really loved him. Our love was consuming. I never saw myself with anybody else. He affected my whole life. With everything I did I kept him in mind. I know now that some of my actions weren't right but at the time I thought I was protecting him. Isn't that what love is, wanting to protect the person you love no matter what. I loved him so much I was willing to put my life on the line and die for him.

God I wish he knew that, but I am to chicken to say anything and now I am stuck at The Rusty Halo with my three dinner companions. It wasn't my idea to come here. It was actually Cas who suggested this place, big surprise there.

Let's not pretend he doesn't have a drinking problem. I mean he has only been drinking seven nights week. I never notice before but after I saw steal that booze I notices he drinks every night. I am starting to think he has a problem. I do enjoy and understand having a drink with dinner but he drinks a whole fifth every night. I wanna say something but I don't know if I should. He is dealing with his dad death but Gabriel has mention on and off that Cas is also dealing with something that happen way before this. I just wish I had more information. Not to worry I plan to get something out of him tonight.

"Deanooooo" I just wish Gabriel wasn't here?

"Dude volume control." I say as I stand beside him on the bar stool.

"You love it." He says as I wonder why he is here. I thought Jo was planning a big romantic dinner to celebrate she is pregnant.

"Your drunk?" I say as I notice his eyes are crossed.

"I am drunk but you can blame that beautiful Cocoa Channel Khali and he super strong mixed drink."

"Maybe you should chill." I say as I lay my hand on his shoulder. Him being here isn't a good sign.

"Maybe you should go back to your date. I guess I'm not the only one getting jungle fever." Okay it's time to leave. Note to self, kick Gabriel's ass when he is sober.

"No it not." He says pretty loud. I don't respond to him. I just pick him up bridal style to carry him out the bar.

"Time to go" I say as he tried to fight me but I managed to throw him over my shoulder.

"Hey guys" I say as Gabriel tries to hit me but I manage to hold him in place.

"Dean, why do you have my brother thrown over my shoulder?" Cas ask with a shock half-drunk expression. I don't know how he did it but mange to convince the waiter to serve him without an id. I personally think he was flirting but Racheal his date had no clue. Poor girl, she had no idea what she is getting herself into.

"Explain later Cas." I say before I turn to look at my actually date. "Gordon I hate to end the evening, but as you can see I ran into my roommate and I need to get him home before I kick his ass."

"I understand Dean." He says as he stands to kiss me. My god this his kiss is hot. The way his tongue mixes with mines is just amazing. I just wish he didn't kiss me in front of Cas. I hope he doesn't feel some type of way. "Maybe next time it can be just be the two of us."

"Oh god, I know you didn't just male out with a dude. Jesus Dean, get a room why don't you." Gabriel says kind of slurred.

"Shut up the fuck up." He's lucky he is drunk. I don't hit drunk people. If I am going to kick someone's ass I rather they be sober. That way they have a feel like they have a fair chance and I won't feel bad the next day.

"No you shut the fuck up."

"I'm begging you man, IF you don't shut up I will tell Jo you were flirting with bartender,"

"Man fuck that selfish bitch." That's it. Drunk or sober he deserves it.

"Okay Dean why don't you throw Gabriel in the car and by throw I meann literally. Gordon nice to meet you, Racheal I would like to continue this at another point of time. Gordon if you don't mine, can you take her home since you drove. I would go with you two but I have to keep Dean from killing my brother."

"Fine" I say as I start to head for the door with Gabriel's now limp body .

My god is Gabriel lucky Cas finally spoke. Things with me and Jo haven't been the greatest but she is still my cousin. Friend or no friend, he will not disrespect her. Don't get me fucked up I am going to dig into his tomorrow but Cas saved both of us from going through this twice. I can't believe he would do this to her. I don't care how bad things get between them he shouldn't do this. They aren't that type of couple.

"Where is he?" Cas ask he finally walks up to the car.

"Jesus Cas" I say as he scares the shit out of me.

"Where is he?' Cas asks as I notice this dark look in his eyes. I think I might be a little scared.

"In the back seat." I say after he stares me down.

"Get out you son of a bitch." Cas says he pulls Gabriel out the car to punch him.

"Cas what are doing?" I yell as I get out the car. I tried my best to get stop him from hitting Gabriel again but he mange to hit Gabriel two more times.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" he yells as he pushes me back before hitting his brother again.

"Cas stop it." I yell as I try to pull him off Gabriel but he pushes me off again. I can't believe this happening. Cas has Gabriel pinned on the hood of my car as he punches him again and again.

"Call her a bitch again." Cas yells as he slams his fist into Gabriel's face. Poor Gabriel he is too drunk to realize what is going on.

"Get off of him," I say as I finally get a grip on him.

"Get off me Dean." He yells as I finally mange to pull him off.

"Stop it he's drunk." I say as I barely mange to him to turn around and look at me.

"Fuck you." He says as he pushes me so hard I almost lose my balance.

"Stop it Cas. If you want to kick his ass in the morning then I'm all for it. Then at least give him a fair one." I yell as I motion toward Gabriel's bloody face who by the way is still laid acroos the hood of my car.

"Drunk mind speak a sober mouth" he says looking at me with such hate.

"I know but sometimes it's not worth it. Like when you are underage and you want to fight at a bar that doesn't ask for id." At least he will understand that. He drinks more than we all do combined. Even that demonic bitch Meg, that bitch can drink us all under the table.

"Oh look at you trying to do the right thing. I just love how you know how to the right thing now What took you so long?"

"What do you mean?" I ask as I try to pretend not to know what he meant.

"OH now you play dumb?" he says as he leans on my car.

"Look whatever you are talking about we can talk about tomorrow." I pray he agrees and I pray he has had too many drinks to remember. Last time I checked he had like five drinks.

"I don't want to talk about it tomorrow. I want to talk about it now."

"Fine" I say before I take a deep breathe. I guess it's time I hear it. I guess it's time we get out of limbo. "Let's talk about it as long as you keep your voice down." After everything is said I would like to have a drink in the only place in town.

"Fine." He says as he stands up straight and without warning he jumps into my personal space to pull me into a kiss. It's not just some kiss it's a kiss filled with hate, distain, love, affection, and need. My god it's awesome and it's making my head spin. I have been waiting for a kiss like this for a long time.

"Does he kiss better than me?" he says as he breaks for air.

Nobody will ever kiss better than you. Nobody will only compare to you. My only two wishes is to get you back or to find some body that can come in second place. Damn I wish I could say that to him. If he was sober I would gladly say it but he has been drinking and he might forget everything. Damn my fear of karma. I can only do one thing. I can only kiss him for ass long as he let me.

"I don't know. Why don't you prove it to me more but first let's throw Gabriel in the front seat." I say giving him a suggestive look.

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**So what did you think?**

**Are you confused?**

**Are you mad at Gabriel?**

**What about Cas's behavior? He beat up his brother. DO you think he has issues and wonder what's wrong with him.**

**What about Dean and Cas? DO you think they went all the way? **

**What do you think will happen next. **


	7. Chapter 7 Castiel

**Hello every one.**

**Thank you for the reviews and thank you arkam for our little our chat. Love you guys so much. I'm keeping this short but sweet. Thank you for the support and I love you guys. Even those who have yet to review. **

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* * *

**Chapter 7 Castiel **

I should stop drinking. What am I saying. Of course I should drink. Drinking helps me forget my troubles and most importantly my dreams. Drinking is good for me; it makes me functional and able to deal with my everyday life. With everything I went through in my and the fact that my dead beat daddy died it really is helping me. I don't understand how people see it as a bad thing. Alcohol is really does help. It makes you numb and able to go day to day. I might sound like someone who has a problem but I am a person with nothing but problems, but alcohol isn't one of them. It really helps me. Trust me if I didn't drink I would be a really horrible person. So yeah I should drink, but I shouldn't drink when I have really dumb ideas. Drinking when I'm not thinking smart is when I go over board and feel it next morning.

Boy do I feel it this morning. My head is spinning and my whole body hurt. The light which is supposed to be pure and strong is nothing but an evil demon. I usually close my blinds and curtains before I go to bed but for some reason I didn't last night. Hold on a minute how the hell did I end up in my bed. I don't remember. What the hell did I do last night?

Okay so yesterday I remember waking up going downstairs, having breakfast, Gabriel being moody, and then later on that day Dean confirmed that me and him were going on a double date. Okay yes, that's where everything started going wrong? What was I thinking suggesting a double date with my ex, a girl whose name I could barely remember, and some hot guy my ex was lusting after?

I should have never done that but I couldn't help myself. I watch Dean flirt with this guy, but I notice he managed to glance back at me a few times. When Dean did that it started to make me wonder and since I started to wonder I couldn't help myself. I only did it to test Dean. Of course you would think that after years of testing or waiting to see how Dean would react to my actions I would have learned my lesson. Of course I didn't because being true to who he is he just went with the flow. I swear on my mother and I guess now my sperm donor that I hate that about him. What in the hell goes through his mind beats me. I like to think I know him better than anybody and I do to a certain point but if he knew half as well why he would agree to last night beats the hell out of me.

Oh god last night. Just thinking about it makes my body aches. It was the one of the worst things I been though to date. It all started when I witness Dean call him. Watching Dean on the phone you would think this guy was the funniest guy ever. The way Dean's face turned red and the way he laughed made me sick to my stomach. I never saw Dean act like this before. The only person I ever seen him blush for was me. I think that is where I messed up. After Dean got off the phone I went straight to my room to take a drink from my secret stash.

I opened a bottle of who knows what and I told myself I would only have a drink or two, but that didn't happen. After my first drink , I just kept thinking about Dean and that stupid good looking guy. So I had a second drink hoping I could get the thought of them out my head but I couldn't. No need to tell you what I did next. Next thing I knew I downed half a bottle of something that I am pretty sure was clear.

Whatever it was it only helped me half way through the night. I think mange to get though twenty minutes of dinner before I needed another drink. If you were me you would feel the same way. Just imagine the only person you ever loved flirting and making eyes at someone that wasn't you. Laughing at every stupid and I mean stupid thing they said. They were looking at this stranger with such wide eyes and hope. Imagine the person you once loved and thought was the one looking at someone almost the same way they looked at you. How would you feel? What would you do? I don't know what you would have done but I will tell you what I did. I pretended to go to the bathroom but I went to find our waiter. Once I found him I slipped him a hundred bucks to put a little something extra in my drink. Yeah it was worth that much to me, but apparently not that much to the waiter. All he wanted from me was my phone number. I didn't really want his but I took it anyway. I took it just in case but I don't really see me needing it. I know what he wanted and honestly I haven't been interested in that for months. Whatever though. It's not that serious. Plenty of people go months without having sex. I guess I am now one of them.

So anyway after I got the waiter to serve me something extra, I think had about four or five drinks before everything went black. I wish I could remember but I can't. The only thing I kind of remember is a dream which sucks. It sucks because I don't dream. Not at least for the last few months at least. To make things even worse my dream was about Dean. It was the realist thing ever. We were making out in the parking lot of the Rusty Halo before we moved to the back seat and then everything goes blank. At least I think. I know something else happen but I just can't figure out what. I just wish I could remember it. I know-

"Damn you look like crap."

"Good Morning to you too." I say as I look at Dean who just walked into my room without knocking. I would be mad but it looks like he bought me coffee.

"Sorry but you don't look so good and it's the afternoon Cas." He says as he sits on the edge of my bed with two extra-large coffee mugs.

"I hope one of those mugs are for me." I say as I look at him. Wow it looks like the sun just kissed his skin perfectly. I can see every freckle he has. I have to fight the erg to reach out and count them with my fingers.

"Here you go." He says as I mentally start to count them.

"Thanks" I say as I lose count at nine. I want to count his freckles but caffeine more right now.

"You're welcome buddy." Is the last thing that is said before we both sit in silence? As I take of sip of my coffee I think how something about this coffee is wrong with it. Dean did get it right. It's not hard to mess up black coffee but something is really missing.

Oh well whatever it is I don't care to figure out right now. I can't keep my mind off my dream. It was just so real. I felt everything with my body. I also beat the crap out of Gabriel in my dream. That's how I know it had to be a dream. I never was able to beat my brother in a fight. At times it came to a draw but somehow someway he always got the better of me. I could never beat my brother. It's just strange I don't dream and I don't understand how I manage to do so. Okay so every once in a while I did have a dream or should I say night mare, but ever since my so called father gave died I haven't had a single one. At least one good thing came out of it.

"Thanks for the coffee." I say as I wish I was wearing a shirt. Why am I not wearing a shirt and why do I have my chest expose. I feel naked.

"I figured you could use some after last night." What does he mean by that and why does his smile have to be so beautiful.

"Last night?" I ask figuring I might as well hear what I did. I have this feeling in my stomach I did something stupid.

"Yeah, isn't that what you were thinking about?" he ask like I should have some memory. Maybe Dean doesn't know how much I had to drink.

"Actually I'm wondering what's so special about today since you bought me coffee. You never bring me coffee. You and my brothers usually drink it before I get up." I expected him to say something but he doesn't. He just looks at me and I know exactly what he is thinking. I know everything he wants to say.

"My dream really wasn't a dream. I kissed you last night." I say so shocked as I start to wonder how I ended up in my boxers. Damn I hope it was worth it. I know I haven't had the erg to do anything with anybody but that excludes Dean. I will always have an erg if he willing. "Damn I should have known I was dreaming about you again."

"You dream about." Dean says a little too excited. I wish he wasn't. Him smiling messes with my mind.

"Yeah back in day but I can't believe I kissed you last night." I can't believe I kissed you and I didn't get the full effect of it. I do remember feeling something but it's not the same as all the times before. Wait I also remember climbing in the back seat of Gabriel's car with him. Did something else happen? "Did something else happen?" I ask as I feel myself come to life for the first time in a while. Man I miss this feeling. Why did it ever stop?

"No Cas nothing happen. You kissed me and I admit I kissed you back for a second .It was like a reflex but once I knew what was going on I stopped it. I put put you in the back seat of Gabriel's car and drove the three if us." The three of us. Oh shit Gabriel. I almost forgot about him. Damn, I am going to pay for it later.

"I'm sorry Dean. I don't know what got into me. I didn't mean to kiss you. I don't know what got into me." I say as I pretend to feel bad. I don't feel bad. I actually wish something else happen. I miss being inside of him but not as much as I miss holding him at night.

"It's okay Cas, we have history and you were drunk. It's normal for exes who are friends to have a few slip ups. It happens. Hey I am actually proud we went this far before something happen. I don't have much experience with this but I'm pretty sure it's normal if TV is any indication.

"Thank you for being so understanding." Why the hell is he so understanding? We have history? We have been though a lot. Shouldn't he feel more than this? Yes I know it was my idea to be friends but it wasn't what I wanted. I did want it at first but I was hoping that we only start there and somehow move on. I didn't want to get here. Now I really wish I had a shirt on.

"Well I'm glad. You had me scared for a minute. I thought something happen since you bought me coffee. For a minute there I thought something happen." Fuck, nothing happen. Nothing happen and Dean is happy with being friends. What did I do? I pushed him into the friend zone. I should have never done, but if I didn't we wouldn't even be here. If I gotten back together with him I would have grown to resent him and we wouldn't be here. Maybe I should have told him that from the beginning. He would have waited for me. I know he would have.

"I'm glad we can move past this?" he says as he takes another sip of his coffee. I'm still holding mine because I can't figure out how Dean messed up black coffee.

"Me too. We so pasted it, I want to know how you enjoyed your half of your date." I pray to god he doesn't ask me about my half. I barley talked to the girl and I don't really know her name. I think it was Raquel or something along those lines. I would have to look in my text messages to be sure.

"You want to know about my date." He says as I secretly hope the night went south.

"Yes" What am I doing? I sound so sure of myself. You'd think I wouldn't care? I still don't know why I care.

"Oh it was great. Really great." He says before his body tenses up.

"Why don't you sound so sure?" I ask as I hope his awkward body language is a sign of hope. Who am I kidding? Every time something looks hopeful I am smutted. I shot down right back into the pits of hell.

"I am sure. I am so sure, he has already asked me out for another date tomorrow night. I'm just nervous that's all." Of course he is and of course I feel an intense rage come over me.

"Great" I say as I fight the feeling to kill this guy. I swear if I could get away with murder he would have been dead a long time ago. "Are you going to go?" I say though a fake smile.

"I don't want to talk about it." He says as he stands up.

"Why not?"

"Because Cas. I don't know how I feel about him yet.?" He says as he takes gulp of his coffee.

"Fair enough…..is he a top?"

'What the hell Cas?" Dean asked shocked.

"I'm just curious" and I like torturing myself. I can deal with Dean toping other guys. Don't; get me wrong I don't like the idea of him being fucking anybody but I can deal with it if he tops. The thought of him under someone just drives me mad and I am ready to kill someone.

"Why are you even asking me this? We don't talk about our sex lives." He says as he looks o uncomfortable. The way his face is turning pink is so adorable,

"We're friends Dean? Friends talk about this? We share things with each other? Why not this?" Please god in heaven or where ever the hell you are, don't let him share anything with his sex life with me.

Dear god you heard me. He hasn't said anything for two minutes, which mean he is thinking. Anytime Dean is thinking means it's a good thing. Please let it be a good thing. If this guy is a top, I don't know what I am going to do. I don't want Dean bottoming for anybody but me. I want to be the only person who knows how much he loves dominance.

"I don't know but I don't care either way, but if he is a top that would be a plus." Shit shit shit damn, fuck.

"Oh" I say ever so calm.:" Fuck, why can't there be a real life purge.

"Yeah, you know better than anybody what I really like and if he could get it to me that would be a plus. I'm tired of submissive guys. I'm ready for a guy to take control. You can't be that guy anymore. Right" Why can't I be that guy anymore?

"Right" I say as I fight the erg to punch Dean in the face. I asked and he is only being honest. "Well, I wish you luck Dean. I hope he is everything you want." I also hope he trip and fall down some stairs.

"Thanks Cas." He says as he heads towards my door.

"What are friends for?" I say as I fake smile before he leaves.

What the hell? What just happen here? Did I just give Dean my blessing to start a new relationship with someone else? Oh no, what did I do? How could I do that? I don't want Dean with someone else. I hate the way it make me feel. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling at all. What was I thinking last year trying to get in touch with my feelings? Feelings cause you nothing but trouble. I hate feeling anything right now. I hate thinking. I need not to think.

Being around Dean brings so much out of me. I know I still have feelings for him but do I still love him. Maybe I-

"It's about time you get up." Jo says as she burst into my room.

"Ever heard of knocking" I say as I figure out what is wrong with my coffee.

"It's my house." She says as she stands in the middle of my room.

"Agree to disagree" I say before I start search my night table drawer for my pint of Captain Morgan. How could I forget? Dean being here made forget but now I remember. I always put a double shot of The Captain in my coffee.

"Sure" she says as I pour The Captain into my morning Joe.

"So, what's up." I say as I take a sip of my coffee. It finally takes right and I am starting to feel right. I am so thankful she came when she did. I was starting to search my soul and that isn't a good thing. If she didn't come I would have figured it out right away and I would be stuck exploring my feelings.

"Look, I will forget the fact that you look like shit and I will forget that I saw you just made your coffee Irish, if you help me." She says in a voice that tells me she wants to judge me but she can't.

"Of course Jo. You know I would do anything for you. Name it and I am there." You know what I just realize. Jo is the only person in my life that I have completely trusted. She never has hid anything from me. She has always been in my corner. I love her and I would move heaven and earth to be with her.

"I'm glad to hear you say that because I need you to go to my doctor's appointment. I have to have somebody with me."

"Jo I would do anything for you but I won't do that."

"Whyyyyy" she whines. Normally I'd find it cute but my hang over is still there and now I find it half cute half annoying.

"Do I really have to explain…. Jo if I go with you then I would be betraying my brother. I love you but I really don't need to get in the middle of you and my brother right now. Plus I think that person going to the doctor with you should be him." My god her boobs have gotten big. She always had a nice rack but damn. Yes I know I am her friend her boyfriend is my friend I'm still a man damn it.

"I see your point, but you couldn't make an exception for me." She says giving me such an innocent smile.

"No." I almost felt for it but I am Farley sure Gabriel will be pissed when he sees me. I can't afford to do anything else. He is my brother after all. Even if though I still have this feeling in gut that he is hiding something from me I still have to stand beside him. I have opposed him to many times. He needs me on his side right now, no matter how much I agree with Jo.

"Fine…..I'll ask Meg or Dean to go with me. I just really need someone in my corner and you were the first person I could think of." The feeling is mutually. There are times where I just need her and nobody else, but damn it there have to be boundaries. Boundaries are something I think our little circle.

"Thank you." As I feel the Captain start to take over.

"Don't thank me because once I take care of me I am coming back for you with a vengeance." Of course she is. She wouldn't be her if she didn't.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I say faking innocents. I am hoping she buy it but we both know what happens when I hope.

"Bull shit." She says as she storms towards the door. "I'll be back for you soon." She says as she leaves my room.

Finally I am alone. I really hate how this morning or afternoon is going. I need to go back to sleep. The Captain is has taken over enough for me to go back into a dreamless sleep and that is how I like. Now all I have to do is just get comfortable and I will be able to drift off into sweet peace.

"Castiel Lamar Novak" Oh shit, here we go again.

"Hello Gabriel." I say as I sit right up in my bed.

"Look what you did to my beautiful face."

Damn looks like I won't be able to sleep now.

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**So what do you Think?**

**next up Gabriel, Jo, Balthazar, and Castiel of course . Yes they are all in one chapter **

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	8. Chapter 8 Gabriel

**Hello and welcome to chap 8**

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**Thank you arkam and sonya for the reviews. I love u guys lot**

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**Chapter 8 Gabriel **

So after many hours of watching Teen Mom and many more hours of thinking I thought I could wrap my mind around Jo getting an abortion. She never took my opinion into account but I never took hers either. I never gave her a chance to tell me she was pregnant. I rush to the conclusion she was going to keep it and then I proposed to her. I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to her. I should have listened to her. I know that now and tonight was the night I was going to tell her.

Of course with the world I live in that didn't happen. Ninety minutes ago I was in my living room standing over. I was ready to tell her I was ready to see it her way. I was sitting next to her watching a rerun of Person of Interest, when I went to open my mouth. So as I opened my mouth it happen. I heard him coming, but I hoped to go that it was just some guy walking down the block.

"_I'm unusually not so typically. Way too smart to be waiting around-." _If you wondering what the well that is. That would be my baby brother Cassie standing in the doorway. He is drunk out of his mind and has a bottle of something clear attached to his hand. "_Snow board champion-" _Yes he is singing Miley Cyrus's Hannah Montana Rock Star on key. Snot only did he just barge in hammered and singing an awesome song off key. He came in with a ripped shirt and a split lip. What the hell is wrong with him? Not only is he underage and drunk, but he got into a fight. He is lucky he didn't capture the attention of the cops. That's all I need is to bail him out of jail only to hire him a lawyer. I wondered why he was drunk anyway. Last I checked he had plans with Dean. I wondered if they got into some kind of fight. I hoped so because usually they fight then they make up the nasty way. I mentally crossed my fingers hoping. If so then I would win the bet.

Anyway , just when I was about to open my mouth yet again, Balthazar walks in.

"Bloody hell was that." He says looking around only to lay eyes on Cassie who had made himelf comfortable in the lazy boy.

"Hi Balthy!" he says a little loud as he waves a little too hard before he lays his head back.

"Damn it has he been on a pub crawl again." That's Balthy's way of asking if he's drunk. I don't know if you know but my brother thinks he's some kind of European.

"No actually I'm drunk but don't worry I still kicked his ass." I'm sure he means whoever he was fighting tonight and not me. I'm still mad about that. I got beat up by my little brother but I did return the favor the next morning.

"Bloody hell Cassie, you were fighting." He says like he doesn't see his lip or torn clothes.

"Okay, I don't think that's important right now. Hoe about we just get him to bed." Jo says as she breaks he sometimes unbearable silence.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm comfortable and I don't want to move." Cassie says as he lies back in the chair pointing his head to the ceiling.

"Okay who's getting him to bed this time." Jo asks as she looks back and forth between me and my brother.

"First I want to know how he ended up drink and alone. I thought Dean was with him." Balthy asks in such a father like tone.

"Dean dumped." Cassie says looking at the ceiling.

"Yes we know. It was t wo years ago." I say as I start to feel frustrated.

"Noooo…..I know he dumped me two years ago. How can I forget? He lives right next door to me literally…..I mean he dumped me tonight." We all look at him confused.

"Cas, honey what do mean? You and Dean weren't together. Right" Jo asks as we all wonder the same thing.

"Dean dumped me tonight. We were supposed to go to the movies and right when we were about to get our tickets Gordon called. Gordon wanted to see Dean and then he made up some sorry excuse and left me there high and dry."

"Okay so how in bloody hell did you manage to get drunk if you were at the movies." Balthy asks in such a aggravated voice."

"I don't think it's that hard to tell. " I say as look back and forth between Jo, my brother and myself. I am fighting the erg of calling no dibs on putting him to bed.

"Jesus Cas, of all the stupidest things you can do." Balthy says as he starts to give Cassie some kind of speech Jo and I both aren't listening too. She just stands there with glazed over eyes while I start to resent my brother. He was holding me up. I always be there for him. I am always ready to help him pick up the pieces but damn it if I didn't feel selfish. I am getting tired of his Destiel drama. Right now I am at the point where either they get over each other or get back together and stay together. I'm tired of it.

"Ahhh Dun" was the next thing I heard. No doubt Cassie was responding to something Balthy said that sounded too much like he was our father.

"Real mature Cassie." My big says as he folds his arm to give my little brother a dirty look.

"You never felt the way I felt Balthy." Cassie says as he sits up in such a sluggish way.

"Oh really and how do you feel?" My big brother ask so mot amused.

"I gave Dean my blessing. I gave Dean my blessing and he went off to meet that chocolate dream. Now Dean is somewhere on all fours begging for him to go deeper. But it's okay to quote song that the girl down the hall from me use to play nonstop 'I aint even tripping I aint even mad at you.'" I have no idea what song that is. I started to think I might need to listen to this song. You know so maybe I won't be so filled with hate right now.

I know if you brother came home drunk out of his mind having some kind of emotional breakdown you would care. You would listen to his drunk speech and then get him to bed, but I have been dealing with this the tenth grade.

"Yes I'm not tripping, even though Dean is somewhere bent over begging for it." I think I speak for everybody when I say ill gross.

"Okay Dean is my cousin and if he is going to talk Dean having sex I'm not doing it."  
'Dean is one of my best friends. I am close to him but there are just some things we don't need to hear. " I say just as quickly as JO said he peace.

"No way am I doing it. If I do it I might punch him in the face. Plus I have been taking care of him for the last year. I am tired of dealing with dealing with drunk Cassie. "

"What?" Jo ask as I think the same thing.

"You heard me. Every other night he was coming home like this. I got to point where I was afraid to go away on business trips. Do you know how many times I had to bribe a cop from arrested him up? " At the moment Jo and me shared a look of concern. My brothers last comment and the look we shared both told us something that wasn't good. Cassie has been getting out of control for longer than we thought.

"Are you saying he has a problem?" I ask feeling my gut trying to tell me something but I didn't know what?

"He has had drinking problems, night mare problems, he has been getting into fights and when he isn't getting into fights he is depressed. I can' tell you how many nights I have stayed up with him because he was talking crazy.

"What do you mean crazy?" I say as my stomach starts to tighten. Suddenly my talk with Jo seems to distant.

"Oh come on you already know. He would say things l 'Why should I even bother. Life could be over tomorrow. Or like things like sometimes I think life is too hard. Yes I know it's cliché I don't know exactly what he has said but they are right along those lines."

"He said those things?" I ask feeling scared as I look at Cassie who has fallen asleep in the lazy boy.

"Yes and I am tired of being on suicide watch." Balthy says half concerned half angry. He's not the only one who feels that way. My gut has been telling me something was wrong and I tried to get it out of him but I am starting to see no matter how much I question him, I will never know. My brother is going through something horrible and this time I really don't know what to do.

Okay time to shake off this feeling because there is nothing I can do about it right now. He's drunk and I can' t deal with this right now. There is nothing I can do right now. Right now all I can do is talk to Jo. I can talk to her right now. I can talk to her to lay new ground work to our relationship before I get on this.

"Okay Balthy regardless of what you went through with him for the last year doesn't matter. I have been dealing with his drama for the last six years and counting so regardless of what you are saying you still owe me." Besides I am still mad about him attacking me. I might have whipped that ass the day after, I am still pissed about it. He had no reason to attack me. I talked to Dean about it and from what I heard; Cassie just attacked me out of the blue.

"I see-" Balthazar starts to say something he doesn't have get the chance to say anything. Soon as he gets two words out, Cassie starts to puke on his shoes. "Jesus" My big brother shouts as Jo runs out the room to grab towels or a bucket I assume.

"I'm not cleaning this shit up. I have been cleaning it up for a year." Balthy declares before I say something back to him, Before I know it we are going back and forth while Cassie keeps vomiting on my gorgeous hardwood floors.

"Shut up!" Cassie said once he stop throwing up. "We both stopped and look at him with such mistrust and worry. " I'm not fragile. I can take care of my self. Sometimes I get sad or angry or some kind of emotion sometimes . That doesn't mean-" He didn't get a chance to finish that sentence because once again he is hurling chucks. I take this time to reason with Balthy

"Look I need to talk to Jo. I don't know if you know what's going on with us but-"

"I know what's going on. The walls are thin after all." He says cutting me off.

"Then you already know how much this is needed. Why don't you just take Cassie here upstairs to tuck him in. "

"I don't want tooo" My strong big brothers wine.

"Come on. I need this." I say practically begging.

"Balthazar Gabriel" Cassie says as he finally stops hurling. " Look I don't know why you guys are even having that conversation. I do this for real all the time. I can get myself to bed."

"Any who, you have to take him to bed." I say begging once again.

"Gabriel I don't know why you are so hell bent on talking to Jo. Nothing you two can change the outcome. Jo got her abortion and nothing you can say is going to change that. You have to just get over it." Did he say what I thought he just said? Tell me he is just talking. Tell me what I was hearing wasn't true.

"Cas" Jo shouts as she returns to the room to late. I turn to look at her not knowing what to say. All I feel is disappointment, sadness and anger. I just wondered how she could do it without telling me. When was she going to tell me? Was she waiting for me to come around to the idea before she let it spill. Oh that bitch, how could my own brother know before me? Me her boyfriend, the gay she declared was her partner on so many different times.

The room is quiet now and me and her stare at each other. Balthy stands in the corner of my eye as he debates what to do. The vibe is now awkward but I have a feeling that it will change regardless of who is here right now.

"Okay Cassie it's time to go upstairs." Balthy says as he starts to help him out the chair.

"I don't want to move." Cassie wines as Balthy throws am arm over his shoulder.

"Yes but imagine how comfortable you'd be in your bed instead of that chair." He says as he manages to get him to the steps.

I waited a good five minutes before they were up the steps and I was left alone with a guilt written Jo. She just stands there holding towels in one hand and a bucket in another as he gives me the deer in head lights look. I saw that she was shocked and scared at the same time. She had no idea how I was going to react.

"Can you please say something." She asks once the silence became to mush for her.

"Did you really do it?" I ask. It's really all I can say. I want to say more but I just didn't know how to express it then.

"Yes' she says as she quickly starts to clean up the badly smelling vomit.

It's true. She did it. I no longer have a child on the way. I no longer have any hope on the way. I know I said I wanted to hear her out, I was hoping she's change her mind. How could she do this without talking to me. Maybe our relationship is starting to come to an end. I didn't want it too but maybe something's in life aren't meant to be.

"Please tell me what you are thinking" she says ass she looks up from the door.

So now she wants to know I am thinking. She could care less before she makes a decision, but soon as everything is done and over with she wants to know. What kind of relationship am I in? I hate t question it but I am starting to feel like I have too.

I had nothing I wanted to say to her. Since our entire relationship began it has been about me expressing everything and her holding back. I am done with it. I am done trying to talk to her. I had nothing to say to her except "I need a drink."

That was it. Four little words and I left before I gave her a chance to say anything. I don't want to listen to her if she can't Listen to me. I just left the house to get a drink.

I have nothing I want to say to her and I want plenty to drink. I knew excels where to come. I went straight to the Rusty Halo. I need to talk to someone who would listen to me. I needed to talk to Khali my favorite bartender. I knew she would listen. That's why I just got finish from telling her about my night without any interruptions. She just say at my table and listen to me. That's all I want sometime.

"I'm sorry to have go on and on. I just needed to get something's off my chest. I say as I realize she has been looking at me with bewildered eyes.

"Don't be." She says with such a warm smile. "I didn't mind at all. In fact I have three question's for you."

"Let's hear them." I say as I try to make myself better.

"Ok first what are you going to do about your bother? Second how do you feel about what your girlfriend did? Third why didn't you stay and have it out with her?" See why I talk to her. She listen and cares about how I feel.

"Okay first I don't know. I am at a lost because I don't know if he has a drinking problem or a traumatic one. Second it doesn't matter how I feel. Third having it out it with her would mean she would have to listen and as I just told you, my girlfriend doesn't listen." There let's see how she handles my answers.

"I'm so sorry Gabriel." She says as she starts to caress my hand. It feels good but I am starting to get uncomfortable, The only woman to touch me besides Jo is Meg but even when she touches me she doesn't caress or linger with her touch. "I wish there was something I could say to make you feel belter, I wish I knew how to help you."

"It's okay, just you listening helps.

"I'm glad I could help." She says as she smiles at me.

"It just sucks that I have to pay and tip a pretty girl for tips to listen to me. Shit I might as well with to a nudey joint.

"Gabriel" she says as she continues to caress my hand from across the table. "I wasn't working tonight. I was only here because I drink for free here. If I didn't really care I could be at another table right now." Wow how could I not see it? She did get us drinks tonight. Still I didn't know? I am use to her serving me drinks all night.

"SO if you aren't working and you have been getting us beer and shots all night, does that mean drinks are on you tonight." I say giving her a rare smile.

"A lot of things can be on me." Okay now I am feeling warm and a bit uncomfortable.

"Good to know." I say nervously as I poor me a glass of beer from the pitch on the table.

"In fact" she says as she pulls a pen out of now where. "I care so much I think it's time we talk outside this bar. "Don't you agree."

I couldn't do anything but smile. What do you say as a beautiful women lets go of you hand to write something down on a napkin. I am two hundred percent sure it's her number.

"I do exist outside this place Gabriel." She says as she passes me her number.

"I know." I says as my heart jumps a mile a minute.

"You don't have to decide to call me right now. "

"No." Is ay not knowing what to do?"

"No, right now you are going to enjoy free beer and talk to me. After you leave here you have seven whole days to call or text me. If you don't then no hard feelings."

"Sounds good to me.: isay as I raise my glass like I was toasting something.

* * *

**Don't forget to tell you thoughts.**

**Don't forget to review**

**don't forget to review. **


	9. Chapter 9 Dean

**Hola, mis amigos**

**How are you guys? ****I'm back with another chapter I hope will knock your socks off.**

**Before we get into to I just would like to say thank you to the people read and also review. I love you guys so much. Thank you so much.**

**To Alice: the secret(s) will come out. Just give it time, I promise when it will It will have you like what.**

**To Sonya: Jo did mess up but is the relationship ruined or did things just become more complicated. **

**To Lilith: Welcome back love. I of all people know how life can be busy. Have yoy seen the tv show Instant mom. (well that has become me minis two kids.) Never apologize for life. It happens. Glad to have you back. Thank you for two reviews. **

**Any who don't forget to review. **

**ps.s I Know I change the name. Why? Idk May None the wiser is a better name. Idk we'll see. **

* * *

**Chapter 9 Dean **

Okay so, is it wrong I'm happy Cas convinced me to go out with Gordon. I wasn't going to call him when he gave me his number but Cas is the one I suggested I do it. He knew if I called him what might happen. He knew I might hit it off with him and really start to like spending time with him. Cas knew if I really started to like him then I would spend more time with him, talk to him more, and he knew I would sleep with him.

Cas knew all of this right? That why he suggested it. That's why he asked me about him being a top. He was making sure that I find someone else. He was being a friend. He was pushing me to move on right. What else could it be? Cas knew I still had feelings for him and he didn't feel the same way. So instead of rejecting me and making me feel awkward he patiently waited for me to meet someone. He waited so I could move on. Right.

God I hope to heaven and hell that I am right. I hope everything I have just said was right. I still have feelings for Cas and I probably always will but I think I am starting to have feelings for someone else. I never thought this day would come but it has and I feel guilty as shit. I feel guilty because part of me feels like I am betraying Cas in so many ways but the other part of me is telling me that I need to accept that Cas is long gone and moved on. I don't know what do do most days. I find myself having a great time no matter what me and Gordon are doing but then something happens and I think of Cas. I just wish-

"_Ring Ring Ring Ring" _Hold on my phones ringing.

"Hello" I say as I stand in the kitchen.

"Hey greens eyes." Son of a bitch. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Hey you." I say as I feel myself start to blush. Just the sound of his voice. I don't why but Gordon gets me all hot and bothered. Maybe it's his milk chocolate skin, or maybe it's his full pink lips. Or maybe it's his dark brown eyes that you know just has a story behind them. I don't know what it is but just hearing his voice drives my body crazy.

"Not to sound like a some kind of needy boyfriend, but where are you. Your dinner is getting cold." God just listen to him purr.

"Well I am standing in my kitchen looking for my keys and…wait a second, did you just say boyfriend." Oh god I think he did.

"I'm sorry, it slipped out. You're going to think I am crazy but I keep calling you my boyfriend whenever I talk about you."

"I don't think you're crazy." AMBER ALERT! AMBER ALERT! HE CALLED ME HIS BOYFRIEND. I AM HIS BOYFRIEND! OH GOD I THINK I AM HIS BOYFRIEND! OH GOD, I THINK I AM USING THE TERM AMBER ALERT WRONG!

"You don't. Good because I was afraid to ask you and I was planning on asking you but I think I just did without even thinking." He says feeling nervous over the phone.

"I think you just did." Oh god, what is Cas going to think? He knows I hooked up with other people but this is different. This would be a relationship. I can't be in a relationship. Cas might not like that.

"I'm sorry if it's too soon." Fuuuuucccckkkkk. It's not to soon. We been dating for like over a month and I', pretty sure it's normal to this to happen. I just wish I knew what the correct answer would be.

"It's not too soon."

"But." But, I am kind of hung up on my ex-boyfriend and I really like but I'm just not sure which way I should go.

"There is no but I'm just taking by surprise that all. I just didn't expect you to ask me." Here I go again lying. What is wrong with me?

"Why wouldn't I ?" I don't I was just hoping you would leave things as there are. That way I would have to make a choice.

"I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to jump the gun too son. I never really done this before." I need to stop. Why can't I just tell the truth? How hard is it to really admit the truth?

"That's right, I forget you are just out the closet. Well Dean I know you are use to being in relationships with women but you should know that you aren't the only one that can take the lead." Yes I never told him about Cas. He knows I been with other guys but I never told him about that one important guy. Don't judge me, I don't know how to explain Cas yet. Would you know if you were me?"

"I think I am starting to see that." I say as I start to leave the kitchen.

"I'm glad Dean Winchester. There are so many things I want to show you and I hope you will let you." He says as I pass though the kitchen the door.

"Is that you're way of asking if I will be your boyfriend." I say as I notice the body lying on the couch.

"I guess I am…So how about it? Will you be my boyfriend." Gordon ask me so hopeful as my eyes land on the TV.

"Well-" Oh crap The Little Mermaid. That can only mean one thing.

"Well don't leave me in suspense." He says as my eyes wonder over to Jo. She is just lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket crying. Oh god what is wrong? Judging by the trash around her she has watched all three in order. Yeah she watches the third one first since it is a prequel.

"Ummm..Yeah of course. Whatever you want."

"Good cause I'm-"

"Hey look can I call you back. Something just came up. I'll call you when I'm done." Gordon said something but I didn.t exactly listen to him. I was do busy hanging up my phone to even care. Jo is lying here look so sad and all I want to do is help her. Damn I hate not matter what a crying female will always get to me. They aren't meant to cry. The fact that she is my family make it worse. I swear I will kill whoever did this to her.

"Hey Jo Jo, what's going on?" I say as I start to feel awkward standing over her.

She doesn't say anything. The room goes quiet. All is heard is the sound of Sebastian voice and her sniffing her nose. You know for whatever the reason I don't think I will ever figure out why she watches this movie. I asked Gabriel once but he just shrug his shoulders.

"Hey Jo, talk to me. What's going on? Why have you been watching Ariel all day?" She waits a few minutes before she finally decides to answer me.

"You don't have to pretend to care Dean. I heard your whole phone conversation. You have a boyfriend you need to get too." Wow talk about being stab in the gut. Does she really think I don't care.?

"First ouch, second why would you think I don't care. Of course I care about why you are sad.?"

"We aren't close Dean, at least not anymore." She says as I move her feet to sit down.

"That's not true. We live together outside the house we grew up in. We're best friends, how could we not be close." I say as I place her legs on my lap.

"We're not best friends. We happen to share the same friend but we are nothing but cousins."

"Typically yes but I have come to think of you as your sister." I say hoping she look at me, ut she doesn't. She just keeps looking at some black hair mermaid.

"Okay" she says as she sits up pause her movie." "When was the last time we talked or hung outside our circle of friends? You know just the two of us. When was the last time?" Wow talk about integration. She just went on me like a homicide detective goes in on his main suspect. I think I feel a little scared. Yeah I prefer her scared instead of angry.

"That last time was-" Shit she's right. She can't be right. We hang out all the time. The last time we hung together was… Fuck the last time we talked was ….well to quote Gabriel Oh my god. That last I had a one on one with her was at the party she through last year. I pulled her to the side to make sure we were cool. Other than that we haven't really talked. Sure there were time when we were home by ourselves. During those times we either was doing our own thing or just watching TV. I can't believe it. For like the ten millionth time Jo is right. Ugg Damn her and her know it all self. Just once I would like to see her be wrong.

"Once again you are right, but I think it's time to change that. We aren't close anymore but I would like use to be." I say as I move closer to her. "I'm sorry we haven't been close. It sucks and I wish I knew what caused us to drift apart but regardless I am ready to change that."

"Really" she says as I wrap my arms around her. I pull her into to me as she rest her head on my chest. I'm actually glad she did that. I don't think I could take me looking at me with sad eyes.

"Yes, I love you and no matter what I am here for you. You might be my family but I still think of you as a friend. I like to think that makes us stronger than your average siblings. Your my sister Jo not my cousin, but my sister. I don't care who our parents were. You are my little sister. Even though I am only older than you by a few months but I don't care, someone hurt you I will kick there ass."

"It's nice to hear that but I think I can kick whoever ass myself." She says as I feel her crack a smile.

"I know that. Hell I think you could kick my ass but it's nice to entertain the idea of defending you in some way." She just laughs as she wipes her nose on my brand new shirt. I guess I'll let it slide this time. I have to forget that I paid thirty bucks for this shirt and it's my first time using it.

"Thank you." She says in such a weak voice.

"For what." I ask as I wonder what has her feeling so defeated. I hate seeing her like this. I wish I could blink my eyes and everything would be everything for her.

"I'm sorry" I say as I hold her close. " Since day one you have always been there for me and I did everything in my power to alienate you. You always listened to me but I never listen to you. You went through things and I couldn't pull my head out my ass long enough to help you. I-"

"Ok blah blah blah , I get it. Your sorry and you want to be close again." Awww there she is. There's the girl I know.

"Well excuse me for trying to be hear felt." I say as we sit up and stare at each other.

"I'm sorry Dean. I'm just tired of heart felt speeches. It seems every time I hear one they are followed by a whole bunch on nothing." Something in my gut tells me there iss more to the story. I know part of it, well I know Gabriel's part but I don't know hers. I never wanted to get in the middle but I am starting to see in situations like ours you really don't have a choice.

"It's okay but only if you tell me why I need to kick Gabriel's ass."

"You don't have to kick Gabriel's ass…. at least not yet and not until I get to him first." She says with eyes that are half sad and half pure rage.

"Okay you just tell me when and where and I'll be there." I say putting on my big brother voice.

"Calm down. There will be no ass kicking until I know the truth." She says defeated again.

"Well what is the truth?" I really want to know. Gabriel might have told me his side but he might have also kept some shit from me. It better not be what I am starting to think. There is no way he would be that stupid.

"Okay.' She says as she takes a few deep breathes. It's like she has to psych herself up to say "I think Gabriel might be cheating on me."

"What?" That son a bitch. I can't believe he would do that to her. I swear to god I will kick his ass.

"I don't know if he is. I mean I did mess up and he might just need some space right now. I really don't know what is going on and I don't want to jump to conclusions."

"Okay well what does Cas think or have to say." I have to ask his opinion. He is the closest with her after all.

"I don't know. He doesn't really talk to me at all. All he does is get drunk, throw up and then pass out every night.".

"That's not good." Okay I have to stick a pin in the whole Cas getting drunk every night thing. It does concern me but last I check he wasn't here and there isn't nothing I can do right now. I need to focus on her right now.

"That doesn't sound good." I say as I start to think of my beautiful blue eye ex. I am starting to think he might be in what you would call distress.

"No it doesn't." Okay time to focus because I feel myself starting to become distracted with the idea of Cas reaction to me being in a relationship. Oh god I am in a relationship with someone that isn't Cas.

Okay I need to calm down. There is no need to panic. We are just friends and he wants me to move on. There is nothing between us anymore and I just need to get over him. Right?

"Okay let's forget about him for a while and just focus on you. Tell me everything from the beginning." After I finish talking Jo just looks at me. It's like she was studying my face to see if I am telling the truth.

"Fine." She finally says after a minute of thought.

No need to recap our conversation word from word. I'm sure you already know what we talked about. We talked about the baby, Captain Novak's death, how Gabriel is handling it, how to she helped him handle it, and how she took matters into her own hands. We then talked about her relationship with Gabriel and how he has been acting weird the last week. By the end of it came to conclusion that Gabriel is hiding something from her. I just don't want to flat out accuse him. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know he loves my cousin and he only wants to make her happy. By the end of out three hour conversation, she decided she wanted to change the subject. I wish she didn't. The first thing out her mouth was "So Dean Winchester has a new boyfriend."

"Yes I do." Oh crap, I have a boyfriend who I had plans with tonight and I totally forgot about them. Damn it, what the fuck. My phone vibrated like four times tonight I just kept ignoring it. It never occurred to me until now that Gordon might have been the one who called me. Great not even twenty four fours into my new relationship and I already messing up. I do care it's just as soon as I confirm I am in a relationship I am unsure about, the reason I am totally confused walks in .

"You're in a relationship." That's right, if you have been paying attention then you would know that Cas chooses now to walk in.

"Cas," I say as I scream internally. What the hell just happen? I didn't want him to find out like this. I wanted to do this so differently. What do I say now? How do I explain everything to him now?

"Answer my question Dean?" Oh god, he sounds pissed, commanding, and sad all at once. I equally turned on and equally scared.

"Yes." I say feeling so guilty as I wait for a response.

"Okay he says after twenty four seconds. Yes I counted them. I had to count them. Each second felt like hours.

"Fine." Cas says with a thought.

"Fine" I repeat shocked. The vibe I am feeling isn't fine. In fact I am feeling all things that aren't fine. He is just staring at me with a neutral face, but I know him. To the untrained eye it would appear nothing is bothering him, but with the way his pupils has gone with , his nostrils flaring and his lip tightening I know for a fact he isn't fine.

"Yes Dean, everything is fine. You have a boyfriend now. I'm just glad that you are in a relationship when you are finally ready to come out the closet."

"Cas it's not the simple." I say as I stand up to talk to him but he doesn't want to hear me out. I try to say reason with him but he doesn't give me the time of day. Soon as the words start to come out my mouth he is half way up the stairs. By the time I try to apologize for god knows what he is gone.

"I have no idea what just happen." I say as I turn to Jo once he is out of eye range.

"I do." She says raising her hand a little smug.

"Do you want to just tell me or do you want to glut a little more." I say as I hear his door slam.

"Wellllllll" she says like she has think about it. I know we just renewed our friendship or bond but I wonder if it would be too soon to curse her out. I just listen to her complain and babble on about Gabriel. The least she could do now is help me out on what just happen. "Okay look" she finally says.

"Well don't leave me in suspense."

"Stop bitching…. Look Cas was drunk. I know you couldn't tell because you are never around when he usually is, but he was drunk. He's drunk and he's upset. He tries to hide it but you still mean a lot to him."

"You don't mean he still has feelings for me." Oh please god no. Life isn't this unfair.

"I don't know. He hasn't told me anything but I know him and I know you effect his life a lot. What he just found out is big for him. It might mean one thing it might mean another but you won't know unless you go talk to him.

"I can't talk to him." I say feeling such fear.

"And why not?" Jo ask as she stands up. It's funny how she is at the most five feet four inches but she always makes me feel like she is six foot two.

"Because" I say feeling so small and stupid, knowing I should go talk to him.

Because Jo." I whine as I try to think of all the reason I should go to him. All I can come up with is I am scared of what it will mean for us.

"Come on Dean. Do I really need to give you a speech? Please say no because that would only waste time. You know I am long winded at times." Lord knows I don't want the hour that is her speeches ending with her threating to kick my ass, followed by her actually hitting me if I challenge her. After she hits me I end up doing it. Damn it I might as well do it.

"Damn you Jo. I'll go talk to him." I say as I start to feel lost.

* * *

**Omg so much to talk about. **

**Dean has a boyfriend.**

**Dean and Jo made up.**

**Dean panicked over what Cas what think.**

**Dean forgot about Gordon.**

**Cas found out Dean had a boyfriend.**

**Now Dean has to go to talk to him.**

**Where to start?**

**I'll let you decided.**

**I also what to know what you think.**

**Don't forget to review. **

**next up dean and cas (and that's just it)**

**Wonder what will happen. **

**wonder who's pov **


	10. Chapter 10 Castiel

**Hola, mis amigos**

**How are you guys? ****I'm back with another chapter I hope will knock your socks off.**

**Before we get into to I just would like to say thank you to the people read and also review. I love you guys so much. Thank you so much.**

**To Alice: the secret(s) will come out. Just give it time, I promise when it will It will have you like what.**

**To Sonya: Jo did mess up but is the relationship ruined or did things just become more complicated. **

**To Lilith: Welcome back love. I of all people know how life can be busy. Have yoy seen the tv show Instant mom. (well that has become me minis two kids.) Never apologize for life. It happens. Glad to have you back. Thank you for two reviews. **

**Any who don't forget to review. **

**ps.s I Know I change the name. Why? Idk May None the wiser is a better name. Idk we'll see. **

* * *

**Chapter 9 Dean **

Okay so, is it wrong I'm happy Cas convinced me to go out with Gordon. I wasn't going to call him when he gave me his number but Cas is the one I suggested I do it. He knew if I called him what might happen. He knew I might hit it off with him and really start to like spending time with him. Cas knew if I really started to like him then I would spend more time with him, talk to him more, and he knew I would sleep with him.

Cas knew all of this right? That why he suggested it. That's why he asked me about him being a top. He was making sure that I find someone else. He was being a friend. He was pushing me to move on right. What else could it be? Cas knew I still had feelings for him and he didn't feel the same way. So instead of rejecting me and making me feel awkward he patiently waited for me to meet someone. He waited so I could move on. Right.

God I hope to heaven and hell that I am right. I hope everything I have just said was right. I still have feelings for Cas and I probably always will but I think I am starting to have feelings for someone else. I never thought this day would come but it has and I feel guilty as shit. I feel guilty because part of me feels like I am betraying Cas in so many ways but the other part of me is telling me that I need to accept that Cas is long gone and moved on. I don't know what do do most days. I find myself having a great time no matter what me and Gordon are doing but then something happens and I think of Cas. I just wish-

"_Ring Ring Ring Ring" _Hold on my phones ringing.

"Hello" I say as I stand in the kitchen.

"Hey greens eyes." Son of a bitch. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Hey you." I say as I feel myself start to blush. Just the sound of his voice. I don't why but Gordon gets me all hot and bothered. Maybe it's his milk chocolate skin, or maybe it's his full pink lips. Or maybe it's his dark brown eyes that you know just has a story behind them. I don't know what it is but just hearing his voice drives my body crazy.

"Not to sound like a some kind of needy boyfriend, but where are you. Your dinner is getting cold." God just listen to him purr.

"Well I am standing in my kitchen looking for my keys and…wait a second, did you just say boyfriend." Oh god I think he did.

"I'm sorry, it slipped out. You're going to think I am crazy but I keep calling you my boyfriend whenever I talk about you."

"I don't think you're crazy." AMBER ALERT! AMBER ALERT! HE CALLED ME HIS BOYFRIEND. I AM HIS BOYFRIEND! OH GOD I THINK I AM HIS BOYFRIEND! OH GOD, I THINK I AM USING THE TERM AMBER ALERT WRONG!

"You don't. Good because I was afraid to ask you and I was planning on asking you but I think I just did without even thinking." He says feeling nervous over the phone.

"I think you just did." Oh god, what is Cas going to think? He knows I hooked up with other people but this is different. This would be a relationship. I can't be in a relationship. Cas might not like that.

"I'm sorry if it's too soon." Fuuuuucccckkkkk. It's not to soon. We been dating for like over a month and I', pretty sure it's normal to this to happen. I just wish I knew what the correct answer would be.

"It's not too soon."

"But." But, I am kind of hung up on my ex-boyfriend and I really like but I'm just not sure which way I should go.

"There is no but I'm just taking by surprise that all. I just didn't expect you to ask me." Here I go again lying. What is wrong with me?

"Why wouldn't I ?" I don't I was just hoping you would leave things as there are. That way I would have to make a choice.

"I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to jump the gun too son. I never really done this before." I need to stop. Why can't I just tell the truth? How hard is it to really admit the truth?

"That's right, I forget you are just out the closet. Well Dean I know you are use to being in relationships with women but you should know that you aren't the only one that can take the lead." Yes I never told him about Cas. He knows I been with other guys but I never told him about that one important guy. Don't judge me, I don't know how to explain Cas yet. Would you know if you were me?"

"I think I am starting to see that." I say as I start to leave the kitchen.

"I'm glad Dean Winchester. There are so many things I want to show you and I hope you will let you." He says as I pass though the kitchen the door.

"Is that you're way of asking if I will be your boyfriend." I say as I notice the body lying on the couch.

"I guess I am…So how about it? Will you be my boyfriend." Gordon ask me so hopeful as my eyes land on the TV.

"Well-" Oh crap The Little Mermaid. That can only mean one thing.

"Well don't leave me in suspense." He says as my eyes wonder over to Jo. She is just lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket crying. Oh god what is wrong? Judging by the trash around her she has watched all three in order. Yeah she watches the third one first since it is a prequel.

"Ummm..Yeah of course. Whatever you want."

"Good cause I'm-"

"Hey look can I call you back. Something just came up. I'll call you when I'm done." Gordon said something but I didn.t exactly listen to him. I was do busy hanging up my phone to even care. Jo is lying here look so sad and all I want to do is help her. Damn I hate not matter what a crying female will always get to me. They aren't meant to cry. The fact that she is my family make it worse. I swear I will kill whoever did this to her.

"Hey Jo Jo, what's going on?" I say as I start to feel awkward standing over her.

She doesn't say anything. The room goes quiet. All is heard is the sound of Sebastian voice and her sniffing her nose. You know for whatever the reason I don't think I will ever figure out why she watches this movie. I asked Gabriel once but he just shrug his shoulders.

"Hey Jo, talk to me. What's going on? Why have you been watching Ariel all day?" She waits a few minutes before she finally decides to answer me.

"You don't have to pretend to care Dean. I heard your whole phone conversation. You have a boyfriend you need to get too." Wow talk about being stab in the gut. Does she really think I don't care.?

"First ouch, second why would you think I don't care. Of course I care about why you are sad.?"

"We aren't close Dean, at least not anymore." She says as I move her feet to sit down.

"That's not true. We live together outside the house we grew up in. We're best friends, how could we not be close." I say as I place her legs on my lap.

"We're not best friends. We happen to share the same friend but we are nothing but cousins."

"Typically yes but I have come to think of you as your sister." I say hoping she look at me, ut she doesn't. She just keeps looking at some black hair mermaid.

"Okay" she says as she sits up pause her movie." "When was the last time we talked or hung outside our circle of friends? You know just the two of us. When was the last time?" Wow talk about integration. She just went on me like a homicide detective goes in on his main suspect. I think I feel a little scared. Yeah I prefer her scared instead of angry.

"That last time was-" Shit she's right. She can't be right. We hang out all the time. The last time we hung together was… Fuck the last time we talked was ….well to quote Gabriel Oh my god. That last I had a one on one with her was at the party she through last year. I pulled her to the side to make sure we were cool. Other than that we haven't really talked. Sure there were time when we were home by ourselves. During those times we either was doing our own thing or just watching TV. I can't believe it. For like the ten millionth time Jo is right. Ugg Damn her and her know it all self. Just once I would like to see her be wrong.

"Once again you are right, but I think it's time to change that. We aren't close anymore but I would like use to be." I say as I move closer to her. "I'm sorry we haven't been close. It sucks and I wish I knew what caused us to drift apart but regardless I am ready to change that."

"Really" she says as I wrap my arms around her. I pull her into to me as she rest her head on my chest. I'm actually glad she did that. I don't think I could take me looking at me with sad eyes.

"Yes, I love you and no matter what I am here for you. You might be my family but I still think of you as a friend. I like to think that makes us stronger than your average siblings. Your my sister Jo not my cousin, but my sister. I don't care who our parents were. You are my little sister. Even though I am only older than you by a few months but I don't care, someone hurt you I will kick there ass."

"It's nice to hear that but I think I can kick whoever ass myself." She says as I feel her crack a smile.

"I know that. Hell I think you could kick my ass but it's nice to entertain the idea of defending you in some way." She just laughs as she wipes her nose on my brand new shirt. I guess I'll let it slide this time. I have to forget that I paid thirty bucks for this shirt and it's my first time using it.

"Thank you." She says in such a weak voice.

"For what." I ask as I wonder what has her feeling so defeated. I hate seeing her like this. I wish I could blink my eyes and everything would be everything for her.

"I'm sorry" I say as I hold her close. " Since day one you have always been there for me and I did everything in my power to alienate you. You always listened to me but I never listen to you. You went through things and I couldn't pull my head out my ass long enough to help you. I-"

"Ok blah blah blah , I get it. Your sorry and you want to be close again." Awww there she is. There's the girl I know.

"Well excuse me for trying to be hear felt." I say as we sit up and stare at each other.

"I'm sorry Dean. I'm just tired of heart felt speeches. It seems every time I hear one they are followed by a whole bunch on nothing." Something in my gut tells me there iss more to the story. I know part of it, well I know Gabriel's part but I don't know hers. I never wanted to get in the middle but I am starting to see in situations like ours you really don't have a choice.

"It's okay but only if you tell me why I need to kick Gabriel's ass."

"You don't have to kick Gabriel's ass…. at least not yet and not until I get to him first." She says with eyes that are half sad and half pure rage.

"Okay you just tell me when and where and I'll be there." I say putting on my big brother voice.

"Calm down. There will be no ass kicking until I know the truth." She says defeated again.

"Well what is the truth?" I really want to know. Gabriel might have told me his side but he might have also kept some shit from me. It better not be what I am starting to think. There is no way he would be that stupid.

"Okay.' She says as she takes a few deep breathes. It's like she has to psych herself up to say "I think Gabriel might be cheating on me."

"What?" That son a bitch. I can't believe he would do that to her. I swear to god I will kick his ass.

"I don't know if he is. I mean I did mess up and he might just need some space right now. I really don't know what is going on and I don't want to jump to conclusions."

"Okay well what does Cas think or have to say." I have to ask his opinion. He is the closest with her after all.

"I don't know. He doesn't really talk to me at all. All he does is get drunk, throw up and then pass out every night.".

"That's not good." Okay I have to stick a pin in the whole Cas getting drunk every night thing. It does concern me but last I check he wasn't here and there isn't nothing I can do right now. I need to focus on her right now.

"That doesn't sound good." I say as I start to think of my beautiful blue eye ex. I am starting to think he might be in what you would call distress.

"No it doesn't." Okay time to focus because I feel myself starting to become distracted with the idea of Cas reaction to me being in a relationship. Oh god I am in a relationship with someone that isn't Cas.

Okay I need to calm down. There is no need to panic. We are just friends and he wants me to move on. There is nothing between us anymore and I just need to get over him. Right?

"Okay let's forget about him for a while and just focus on you. Tell me everything from the beginning." After I finish talking Jo just looks at me. It's like she was studying my face to see if I am telling the truth.

"Fine." She finally says after a minute of thought.

No need to recap our conversation word from word. I'm sure you already know what we talked about. We talked about the baby, Captain Novak's death, how Gabriel is handling it, how to she helped him handle it, and how she took matters into her own hands. We then talked about her relationship with Gabriel and how he has been acting weird the last week. By the end of it came to conclusion that Gabriel is hiding something from her. I just don't want to flat out accuse him. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know he loves my cousin and he only wants to make her happy. By the end of out three hour conversation, she decided she wanted to change the subject. I wish she didn't. The first thing out her mouth was "So Dean Winchester has a new boyfriend."

"Yes I do." Oh crap, I have a boyfriend who I had plans with tonight and I totally forgot about them. Damn it, what the fuck. My phone vibrated like four times tonight I just kept ignoring it. It never occurred to me until now that Gordon might have been the one who called me. Great not even twenty four fours into my new relationship and I already messing up. I do care it's just as soon as I confirm I am in a relationship I am unsure about, the reason I am totally confused walks in .

"You're in a relationship." That's right, if you have been paying attention then you would know that Cas chooses now to walk in.

"Cas," I say as I scream internally. What the hell just happen? I didn't want him to find out like this. I wanted to do this so differently. What do I say now? How do I explain everything to him now?

"Answer my question Dean?" Oh god, he sounds pissed, commanding, and sad all at once. I equally turned on and equally scared.

"Yes." I say feeling so guilty as I wait for a response.

"Okay he says after twenty four seconds. Yes I counted them. I had to count them. Each second felt like hours.

"Fine." Cas says with a thought.

"Fine" I repeat shocked. The vibe I am feeling isn't fine. In fact I am feeling all things that aren't fine. He is just staring at me with a neutral face, but I know him. To the untrained eye it would appear nothing is bothering him, but with the way his pupils has gone with , his nostrils flaring and his lip tightening I know for a fact he isn't fine.

"Yes Dean, everything is fine. You have a boyfriend now. I'm just glad that you are in a relationship when you are finally ready to come out the closet."

"Cas it's not the simple." I say as I stand up to talk to him but he doesn't want to hear me out. I try to say reason with him but he doesn't give me the time of day. Soon as the words start to come out my mouth he is half way up the stairs. By the time I try to apologize for god knows what he is gone.

"I have no idea what just happen." I say as I turn to Jo once he is out of eye range.

"I do." She says raising her hand a little smug.

"Do you want to just tell me or do you want to glut a little more." I say as I hear his door slam.

"Wellllllll" she says like she has think about it. I know we just renewed our friendship or bond but I wonder if it would be too soon to curse her out. I just listen to her complain and babble on about Gabriel. The least she could do now is help me out on what just happen. "Okay look" she finally says.

"Well don't leave me in suspense."

"Stop bitching…. Look Cas was drunk. I know you couldn't tell because you are never around when he usually is, but he was drunk. He's drunk and he's upset. He tries to hide it but you still mean a lot to him."

"You don't mean he still has feelings for me." Oh please god no. Life isn't this unfair.

"I don't know. He hasn't told me anything but I know him and I know you effect his life a lot. What he just found out is big for him. It might mean one thing it might mean another but you won't know unless you go talk to him.

"I can't talk to him." I say feeling such fear.

"And why not?" Jo ask as she stands up. It's funny how she is at the most five feet four inches but she always makes me feel like she is six foot two.

"Because" I say feeling so small and stupid, knowing I should go talk to him.

Because Jo." I whine as I try to think of all the reason I should go to him. All I can come up with is I am scared of what it will mean for us.

"Come on Dean. Do I really need to give you a speech? Please say no because that would only waste time. You know I am long winded at times." Lord knows I don't want the hour that is her speeches ending with her threating to kick my ass, followed by her actually hitting me if I challenge her. After she hits me I end up doing it. Damn it I might as well do it.

"Damn you Jo. I'll go talk to him." I say as I start to feel lost.

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**Omg so much to talk about. **

**Dean has a boyfriend.**

**Dean and Jo made up.**

**Dean panicked over what Cas what think.**

**Dean forgot about Gordon.**

**Cas found out Dean had a boyfriend.**

**Now Dean has to go to talk to him.**

**Where to start?**

**I'll let you decided.**

**I also what to know what you think.**

**Don't forget to review. **

**next up dean and cas (and that's just it)**

**Wonder what will happen. **

**wonder who's pov **


	11. Chapter 11 Dean

**Hello guys. Hope all is well with you. Sorry I been away so long. Had some computer issues. But that is now a bad memory of the past.**

**I hope you guys like this chapter. I hope you find it sweet and mushy, and a little light. **

**Okay I'm done. Don't forget to review.**

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**Chapter 11 Dean**

You ever have a moment I mean a perfect moment. A moment that is so pure and gives you such a rush you never want it to end.

I think I have been having the perfect moment all month. For the last thirty days Cas and myself have done nothing but enjoy each other's company. We have done nothing but smile, laugh, hang out, and make out. It's actually pretty strange but in a good way. It has been a long time since our relationship has been this innocent. I mean don't get me wrong we did do some not so innocent stuff the night we got back together and I do plan on hoping on it sometime soon but it has been nice just being together.

I am getting to know him all over again. It's funny how you fall in love with this person thinking that nothing is going to change but things do start to change. Things happen and each person involved takes away a newly discover piece of themselves. Sometimes so much crap happens at once and the next thing you know the person is totally different person. The person might change on the surface and a few layers down but at that persons core they should still have all the original things that made them unique to them.

Cas has change a lot over the years, but at his core he is still that quiet blue eyed kid, who had the biggest heart I knew that I slammed into on the playground all those years ago. Sure he is rough around the edges and has picked up a few questionable hobbies but he still is Cas. He still holds his family in high regards, he still loves with his heart and soul, and he still has the snarky mouth when he drinks. Of course he drinks everyday now but it's still cute.

I still give that electric flying spark whenever he kisses me. Whenever he looks into my eyes I feel so important. He looks at me with such love and passion. Those sparkling sapphires tell me everything I need to know. They tell me that everything will be okay in the world. They tell me that he is everything I need in this world to be everything I hope to be. He is my better half. He is the one.

Oh my god I never thought or said that before. Sure I have always known I wanted to be with him. Okay yeah and I kind of always wanted him by my side, and I never saw or wanted an end. Nor did I ever want him out my life. I never wanted to get over him. I had plenty of times to move on from him but I never did. I never wanted to commit myself to anybody but him. Not even Bella or Anna.

Yes I loved Bella but I was never in love with her. She just represented a life that I use to want. Bella represents a part of me that I am not proud of. I wanted so desperately to be the same as every other guy. I forced myself into a relationship where everybody involved got hurt. I know I don't deserve sympathy simply because everything back then was my fault, but I like to think I have changed. I paid the price for two years and my debt is finally paid off and I can start new. Thank god I get to start with him. He is the love of my life.

"Dean."

"Hey" I say as I can't but smile. Just watching him lie here is enough for me to count this as another perfect moment.

"What are you doing?" He asks as he starts to whip the sleep from his eyes.

I swear I could watch him sleep all night and still feel like I had a great night's sleep.

"Loving you with my eyes." I say in the creepiest voice I could muster.

"Well stop doing that and kiss me already." He needs to say no more. Within seconds I am leaning down to touch my lips with his. We fall in a lazy motion while touching each other ever so lightly.

"Welcome home." Cas says as he breaks away for air.

"I missed you." I say as I kick my shoes off to lay next to him.

"You only worked four today." He says turning on his stomach to hug the pillow. Without a thought I followed his lead.

"I know but hey I lost two years with you. I need as much time as possible to make up for lost time.

"Careful Dean you really getting deep into a chick flick." He says with such a cute chuckle. I mean talk about beaming. He smile is the best one in world. It's too bad most of world will never know the beauty that is his smile.

"You know what Cas, I don't care. Right now I want to tell you how I feel and if it turns into a chick flick then so be it."

"You want to tell how you feel?" he says smiling a mile a minute.

"Yes I want to tell you everything. Total honesty. I never want there to be any secrets and lies between us. I want everything out in the open." I mean every word. I think it's tine I tell him the one secret that has somehow manage to stay buried for two years. That's right it's time I tell him about Cornell.

"Okay, I do like that idea. Total honest." He ask reassuring.

"Yes from this moment on it's nothing but openness." I say as I gather my nerve. I need to figure out how to tell him.

"Okay so if we being honest then tell me why you were watching me sleep."

"Okay starting small I see." I say as can't but love purity of us. This is us at our core. Just two guys who feel in love. Two guys lying in bed together on a lazy summer afternoon. We're just a couple of twenty year olds with world their feet. He could ask me anything and all he wants to know is why I was watching him sleep. This right here is the reason he is my one.

"Well when I walk into the room that we now share I looked over and I saw you sleeping. I was going to wake you but you looked so peaceful. You don't get that much rest as it is so I dedicated to let you sleep some more. I sat on the edge of the bed and I look at you again and I started to think."

"So what did you start to think about?" He save as he cheeks start to turn the lightest shade of pink. It's almost nude but it's there.

"I thought about how much I love you and how I never want to be away from you. I thought about how my life has gotten so much better and how it will be better now that have you by my side again. I thought how I will never let leave me behind ever again."

"Dean" he says as he starts to sit up. "Are you serious? You never want me to leave you side."

"Why so surprised?" I say as I sit up to look him in the eye. "You know even back then I have loved you. I spent two years pinning over you. Thinking I was going to die old and alone because I thought I lost you forever. Come on Cas I already told you this."

"I know Dean but I just. It's just every time I hear you say it, it's like hearing you telling me you love me the first time. It just so shocking and exhilarating."

"Well believe it, I never want you far away from me again." I say as I hold his face to look him in the eye.

"Well Dean I'm glad to hear you say that because I feel the say way. I feel so strongly about you that I don't want to return to New York." Oh no. Here we go again.

"Baby, no" I say quickly as I squeeze his face.

"You're hurting me." He says as he digs my nails out his flesh.

"Sorry" I say as I rest my hands on my lap. "Look it's just you did that once before and it didn't go so well."

"No it didn't Dean" He says as he tightens his jaw. I guess that's still a sore spot for us. Again I really regret my behavior back then.

"Right, so that's why I want to rewrite history." I think I'm talking to fast. I feel like I just chained smoked half a pack of menthol cigarettes.

I just wish he say something. Our sweet moment has turn into a staring match between his eyes and my soul. Damn him and his powerful gazes.

"How?" He finally says as I am able to breathe again.

"I don't want New York to be the place you escape to. I want it to be a place where we spent a chapter of our lives."

"Chapter of our lives." Oh good it's hot in here. The AC might be on full blast but right now I feel like I am standing outside in a black turtle neck.

"Yes a place we start fresh together. Some much has happen here, I think it's time we both leave it behind."

"But Dean what about you. You know you can't just show up to a college in New York and start attending classes."

"I know but neither could you."

"Okay I see your point… but baby you love it here. Lawrence is what made you who you are. This place made you the Dean Winchester that I love. I would never want you to give up all that you hold so close and dear to you."

"Your what I hold close and dear. …..Look I love you and I wanna go to New York. Oh yeah, I really can see me self-walking down the streets of Manhattan. I can see myself living with you, and driving Balthazar crazy. Come on it's a win both ways."

"I see." He says with a small chuckle. "You know a lot has happen for me in New York too."

"I know Cas. I know there's a really high chance that we will run into someone you banged twice a week, but hey I'm willing to pay that price. Hell we run into people you bang all the time here. I don't see how it will affect us in New York. What you we'll run into people you beat up. Well we still do that now." Man I really should have a talk about all this stuff with him some time in the future. It's actually a little scary sometimes.

"You'll have to make new friends, get another job, apply to college all over again. Some of your classes might not transfer over. You'll-"

"I'll get mugged, lost, be stuck in traffic, miss my family and friends, yeah yeah. I know. Look I know it won't be easy and there might be an adjustment period, but who cares, Let me do this with you. Let me move in with you in your big penthouse in the sky. Let me roam New York, get lost, have a hot dog and come home to you every night. Just let me come."

Woah I am talking to fast again. Oh great now I feel like I smoked the other half of those cigarettes

"Okay come with me" he says before he kisses me. I waste no time in seeing this as an opening. What starts out as gentle soft kisses turn into rough passionate tongue wrestling match.

"Dean" he says as he breaks apart to look me in the eyes. "I love you." He says as he massages his thumb around my ear.

"I love you." I say giving him one last gentle peck.

The next thing I know I am on top of him sucking on his mouth like my life depended on it. The crazy thing is this is longest have ever had control. Usually by now Sergeant Cas would have taken over and started barking orders at me. Wow this is really different. Is he giving up control to me? Could this be my moment? Could this be the first time I get to top. Now don't get me wrong I love it when he takes control and tops but just once I would I like to top, just to know what he feels like from another end.

What should I do? Should I go for it. Or should I wait and see where this goes. Og screw it I am going for it.

"Ummm Cas." I say breaking our kiss.

"Yes Dean." He says looking at me like he is reading my mind.

"Can I? I mean just this once." I say as start to feel vulnerable and shy.

"Yes Dean." He says before he pulls me into another passionate kiss.

I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe what is about to happen. This moment right here conforms what I have known all along. Cas is finally and one hundred percent mine. He is giving himself to completely. Life is-

"Oh god seriously. You guys have been going at it for a month now. Jesus Dean how can you still walk." OH great. Just whatwe need.

"Hello Jo." Cas says as I roll over on my back.

"What do you want? We are kind of busy?" I say as I try to stop the blood rush to my penis .  
"Seriously. You two have been hold up for the last month. It's time to come out and join the real world."

"Is that your way of saying you miss us." I ask trying to make light on the situation.

"Yes, I'm lonely and I kind of need your guys to get drunk with me tonight."

"I'm down." Cas says without a second thought.

"Seriously. You want to get drunk tonight, now. Can this wait an hour?" I say as I know the mood has official be killed.

I swear I am going to kick Gabriel's ass. I have no idea what has been up with this last month but he has some serious explaining to do. I know me and Cas have been keeping to ourselves lately but I still notice he is around much. The only time I see him is three in morning when he is coming home drunk. That's what he does every night, leaving poor Jo feeling alone. I tried talking to her about it but she said she was handling it.

"I can't okay. I wasn't going to come up here but Gabriel came in changed his clothes and told me not to wait up. I said nothing to him I just let him leave. Soon as he was gone I opened up a bottle of Jack and realized I didn't want to drink alone or at home tonight.

"So you came up here to us." I say as I start to feel sorry for her.

"So you open a perfectly good bottle and you didn't think to bring it with you. Ever heard of pre gaming."

"Cas it's one o'clock .: he says looking at her phone.

"So we're young, it's summer. Jo's you're having a bad day and we are going to get totally drunk, go out, dance at a gay bar, maybe start a bar fight and, run from the cops." Oh no it's going to be Mexico all over again.

"I'm all for the getting drunk part. Hell I'm even for the dancing at a gay bar but can we try to avoid the other two. Getting arrested once is enough. Especially in the states."

"Yeah right when were you ever arrested dad." Jo says being sarcastic. If only she knew what Cas got me into over Spring break? Hell I'm lucky to be back here on American Soil.

"Fine whatever." I say wanting to drop the subject.

"Great now that's settled what do we do first." She asks slapping her hands together.

"Well, I say we go change into the outfit we want to wear all day. We all should put on something that fits for all occasions. Then once we are dressed. You are going call Meg and tell her she has a lot of catching up to do. Because once we're dressed we are going to play kings.

"Seriously guys. You know I suck at that game. Then to invite Meg and you know Balthazar is going to join in." Oh good sounds like I am going have to be everybody babysitter tonight.

"Yes we are. Get ready Dean because tonight we don't stop until we are in the back of that paddy wagon." Cas says as he stands up to share a look with Jo. If the truth is told then I feel a little jealous about the way he is looking at her. "Today we go on a twenty hour bender.

"Oh god. Here we go?" Thank god it's Friday.

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**So what do you think. **

**What do you think will happen with their twenty hour bender. **


	12. Chapter 12 Castiel

**please review **

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**Chapter 12 Castiel**

Well here we are? Here Dean. Gabriel, Balthazar, and I are. Here we are at a very dark and dirty room at the Holiday Inn. Here the four of us sit around staring at each other like we are in some parody of The Hangover. Only difference is we all remember what happen last night. I'm surprised that Dean. Balthazar, and myself remember what happen last night. The three of us went on a bend yesterday with Jo and Meg. I'm not sure how much Gabriel had to drink last Whatever he had to drink ended up mixing in with our count added up to a night that just turned out unexpected with some testing of emotional.

Too bad yesterday can't stay in stay yesterday. Nope, instead it has spilled out into today and we all lying around this room knowing we are all dreading the day to come, all of us but Gabriel. No he actually thinks today is going to be more infamous than yesterday. He must still be drunk. There no way today will make him forget yesterday. There-

"You guys" Gabriel whines. "You keep looking around but you haven't said anything. Stop looking back and forth and just tell me what you think?"

At the very moment we all just looked at Gabriel. We all sat there thinking the very same thing. What is wrong with him? Why isn't he hung over? Why doesn't he have any type of bruising on his face? He did get pretty hard last night? But most importantly, why isn't he acting like Last night never happen.

"Okay fine I'll go first." Balthazar commented dryly. "Why in the bloody hell are we in a Holiday Inn. Out of all the hotel in town not to mention two out of the dozen that are four star and one five star, you choose this abomination." I don't know if I ever mention how much of a snub my oldest brother is. Yes we come from money but we like to live simple. It's something our mother taught us. She taught us to look at our trust as a nest egg that it was okay to dip into every once in a while. Balthazar always understood but he chooses to live differently. I think that's why he picked up the tab for last night.

"It's not that bad." Gabriel whines as we all roll our eyes.

He's half right. The room isn't that bad but everything else is messed up.

"Not that bad. You can't be serious." Balthazar says like he is in shock. "Do you realize where we are and how we got here? You of all people should see how serious this is."

"I do but so what?" I think I want to punch my brother. How can he say so what to everything that has happen? He might have been with the rest of us the entire day but he spent enough time with us for it to affect him. The fact that he could say so what just makes me angry for no reason.

"You can't be serious." Dean says as he stops holding his head to look at Gabriel.

"Very serious" Gabriel says as he looks at us with a straight face.

"But whyyyy" Balthazar whines. "Do you truly understand everything that happen last and how it will affect the future? Do you understand how we ended up here in the first place? Seriously Gabriel look into the light."

"I truly do brother. See as my memory tells it a serious of events happen last night and because of those events the four of us ended up here." Gabriel says with such a straight face." Gabriel says with a face so straight it had me in awe of his denial.

"That's how you put it." My beloved Dean says so aggressive that I am a little turned on. "Really we got banned from The Rusty Halo because of you."

"I didn't get us banned. Cassie did." Gabriel says as he crosses his hand and waves his hand.

"Hey don't blame me." I shouted a little too angry.

"You were banned long before last night. We being with you are why we all got banned. Say what you want but it is what it is." Gabriel says as I start to dig into my pocket for my flask. I'm starting to sober up and at this very moment I don't need to be sober.

"You started it." I say once I take a swig.

"No you started it by bringing Jo last night."

"Oh excuse us for trying to be there for your girlfriend while you were too busy acting like a selfish jackass….Can I get a hit of that." Dean says as he grinds his teeth.

"Hey there Winchester that's my brother you are talking about. Only family gets to call him those names." Balthazar chimes in.

"He might be your brother but I have been around more than you." Dean says as he hits a sore spot in all three of us.

"Well-"

"Hey guys stop it." Gabriel yells as I feel the rum from my flask start to hit me. "First of all Dean pot met kettle. I get what you are saying but hey how many times have I stood by your side when it came to Cassie."

"Oh you don't want to even go there." Dean says as he gives my Gabriel a look only he understands.

"I won't if you won't. Remember I have nothing left to lose now."

"Or maybe you have one more thing." Dean says as I wonder as to what he is preferring to. Note to self, ask Dean about that later.

"Maybe I do but that's not important right now."

"Right what's important is how we move forward." I say trying to get Gabriel to realize the error of his ways.

"No baby what is important is Gabriel understands what has happen before we move forward. "

"Oh god here we go. I knew you guys would bring it up." Gabriel says as he rolls his eyes."

"Oh course we are going to bring it up. We were having a good time until we ran into you." Balthazar says as he pulls out a bottle from the night before.

"But whyyyyy. I don't want to talk about it." Gabriel whines once again.

"Oh no we are going to talk about it." I say as I feel the anger in my gut rise.

"You don't have to get so mad Cassie. I understand what happen. Jo and I broke up and now I live in the Holiday Inn."

"And you're okay with that." Balthazar says. I don't know if he said that because we are in a Holiday Inn or because Jo and Gabriel actually broke up.

"The only thing I know is we broke up, she played her part, and I have no idea how it happen."

"Now we're getting somewhere." Dean says as I continue to drink from my flask.

"Dean I say this with love and respect. Shut the fuck up with the small talk and tell me what the hell happen. How the fuck did we break up." Gabriel says a little too fast.

His fast pace speech, the vein pulsing in his neck, his irrational eyes all tell us he is actually bothered. Finally it only took us a four hours of drinking and a half hour of a bad hang over version for him to get here.

"I think I'd be best to tell that story. I feel like I would be best to tell it." I say as I start to recall the events that occurred.

"Fine Cassie, tell me. How did I break up with Jo? Not that I care but what happen last night. How did we all meet up and how did it all lead up to us ending up here." Gabriel asks with a neutral face but curious eyes.

"I'll tell you but first you have to go to liquor store and by five bottles of liquor. I'll let you choose the brand.

"Fine" Gabriel says after several moments of silence. "But the second I get back you have to tell us all about the events of last night because I don't feel like debating this all day. We have a a party to attend tonight."

Oh great, I almost forgot about that party. Damn it. I don't want to go but I'll tell you more about that later. Right now Gabriel has to go to the now open liquor store and then I have to recap the events of last night. Don't worry once Gabriel gets back I promise to tell you everything you missed from last night.

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**If you review I will update a lot faster. **


	13. Chapter 13 Castiel

**Happy Holiday's guys. I hope this holiday season brings you nothing but Joy.**

**Sorry i been gone but hey as we all know life happens. **

**But forget it here is a new chapter i hope you enjoy. Please review.**

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**Chapter 13 Castiel **

"Here you go Cassie." Gabriel says once he returns from the store.

"Thank you." I say as I pick up the bottle of Bacardi Melon he placed down in front of me. I really don't understand why Gabriel insists on drinking flavored alcohol.

"Now here's the deal." He says as he sits down and throws his leg across the chair.

"What deal?" I say as I pour all of us drinks.

"The deal is you tell me every detail of last night and I won't ask why you know what the liquor store opens." He says as he takes his drink.

"Okay" I say ever so calmly as I thank god I don't have to lie my way out of this one.

"So are you going to tell me what happen last night or are you just going to sit there and look pretty for your boy toy."

"Screw you ass hat." Dean yells from the couch he has now taken up residence on.

"Ohh you hear this Cassie. You're beloved once to screw me. Well I can't say I'm so surprised." Gabriel says with such a smug smile.

"Yeah I'm not one who likes to screw around. You're lucky. If I was with your brothers quote un quote boy toy I would have kicked your ass." Dean says bitterly.

"That's a load of crap and you know it."

"Save the bull Gabriel. I was there last night." Dean says as he starts to stand up.

"That doesn't prove anything, sure as hell doesn't prove you can kick my ass." Gabriel says as he stands up to make eye contact with Dean.

"OH-"

"ENOUGH!" Balthazar yells in commanding voice. Both Dean and Gabriel stand still as they drop their gazes to their feet. "Bloody hell guys. As much as I hate myself for saying this but Dean has every right to kick your ass. You deserve it.

"But-" Gabriel tries to whine.

"No but's. You aren't the only one who wants to be filled in about last night. There are some blacked out moments I would like to know about."

"But-"

"N0! Just shut the fuck up and sit down and listen how your stupid ass got caught.

"Well I never" Gabriel says as he and Dean both sit down.

"Oh Shut up." Balthazar says as Gabriel mumbles something under his breathe about Balthy wanting to be the older brother now.

"Okay Cassie" Gabriel finally says as after he forfeits his staring match with Balthazar. "Tell me what happen.

"Okay " I say before I pause to make sure there are no more interruptions.

Before I start to tell my brothers about the night before I take a minute to remember every detail. I start off telling him how Dean came home early from work. I then tell them how Jo came in and declared she wanted to forget about her current problems. I then decided to that we all would go on a twenty hour bender. I know drinking doesn't make your problems go away but trust me when I say alcohol can really numb your pain.

From the moment she walked in on us and I saw how sad her eyes were I knew I had to do something. I can't stand the thought of her being anything but happy. She is such a beautiful and loving person. I know she has made some mistakes but she didn't deserve what my brother was doing to her. I had to help her forget and for almost an entire day I did.

Yesterday started out slow. Dean, Jo, and I ended up at the kitchen table drinking while we play a few rounds of Bullshit. Half way through Balthazar finally came out the basement and joined us. By the middle of day we decided to change into our swim suits and have our own private pool party. That's right around the time Meg joined us.

The pool party was Jo's idea. Even though we all thought it was a lame idea, no wanted to say it. We all knew this was Jo's day. Whatever she wanted is what she would get.

Good thing we were doing whatever she wanted because lying out by the pool turn out to be more fun than we thought it would be. In a span of three hours we ate barbeque that Dean cooked. We drank so much that Balthazar had to make a run for beer and liquor. We even ended up playing in the pool. I lie to you not we ended up having a wrestling match in the shallow end. It was me and Jo versus Meg and Balthazar. We had a few matches but in the end it was a tie. It was a lovely day which ended up turning into an even lovely night.

With as much drinking we were doing, we ended up needing more food to help us make threw the rest of the night. None of us bothered to shower for dinner. We all just threw clothes over our swim suits as we debated where to eat. There were a few suggestions but in the end we ended up in an all you can eat Chinese Buffet. It was nice all of us having dinner together. Almost all of us together, laughing and having a good time. Even though we talked about nothing important it was nice just to be together.

It was nice all the way up until the waitress and manger caught us pouring a little something extra in our drinks. Needless to say we got kicked out. It was no big deal to us. We all had our share of food. Plus it was a getting late and there were things to do.

Once back at the house we all went our separate ways, well kind of. The five of us all went our separate ways within the house to get washed and dress for the night ahead.

It took a total of one hundred thirty eight minutes for all of us to get ready. Once we were all dress we head out for a night on the town. We ended up at a place called Mr. Wang's. I guess stating it is a gay bar with a not so strict id policy.

Now don't think we all agreed to Mr. Wang's right away. See Jo wanted to go out. That's when I suggested we all go to Mr. Wang's. Meg, Dean, and Balthazar were against while me and Jo were for it. At the time I understood why Meg and Balthazar were against going to a gay club on a Friday night but I didn't understand why Dean didn't want to go. I started to dwell on it but lucky Jo put her foot down and we all fell in line.

Once were inside, no one had any more objections. We made a bee line for the bar where Balthazar opened a tab and drank and danced for next few hours. I can't remember every little detail of the night but for some reason I do remember the moments that happen after midnight.

We danced as a group all night but somewhere in the middle we started to pair off. Meg somehow became my brother's unofficial date of the night while of course Dean was with me. Jo danced with a few guys and girls that night but in end she was by herself.

I don't like the thought of Jo being alone. I hate it more than the thought of how Gabriel has betrayed her, but I think I am getting off track.

While I do remember most of the day before, it's the events that happen around 11:30 that I clearly remember.

It all started with a song. I think the name of the song is Where Have You Been. I'm not sure. I have only heard the song a few times. I do know it's a Rihanna song. It's easy to recognize her voice.

While normally I do not care for the song but the day before I loved it. I don't know if it was the fact that I had a lot to drink or maybe it was a combination of the alcohol of maybe a mix of what I drank and a pill that some kind with a tight ass gave me in the bathroom but I feel in love with the song maybe it's one of those songs that has to grow on you. I don't know. All I know is we all danced together as Rihanna screeched out the lyrics.

I just wish we looked how people looked on TV. I wish we I could say all of our bodies feel in sync of the beat but that's not the case. Balthazar of course moved as though the song was radiating from him. He never missed a beat as moved his whole body to the beat. His moves were flawless. I envy him and Gabriel they have the ability to dance without thought. They can dance to anything and make it look like a master piece. Whether they are making a fool of themselves or dancing on the spot to impress someone it always looks like a choreograph dance. I on the other had have moves but I am not as good as them. As awkward or dorky as I might come off I know I have rhythm. My wonderful mother made sure of that. Dancing never came naturel to me but she made sure I learned.

As we moved around to the music I looked over to the beautiful women in our company. Meg knew how to move her body but she looked more like a stripper at times than a professional dancer unlike my brothers. Jo on the other hand looked amazing dancing. She wasn't the greatest dancer but the way she moved her body would have you mesmerized. She did miss a few steps but even when she when she did it's still adorable.

While the rest of us found some kind of rhythm poor Dean did not. I know I sound like Gabriel when I say this but the poor guy tried as hard as he could but he could not keep up but bless his little gay heart for trying. Dean tried as hard as he could to keep up but he just couldn't. The fact that he didn't stop trying just adds to the list of reasons why I love him. I swear Dean is the only gay man in America that can't dance. To sound like my brother again bless his heart for trying.

After another minute of dancing thank god the DJ decided to slow down the music. Slow music gives music gives Dean a chance to redeem himself. Plus we all know how much I love giving dean direction. I should stop. We haven't had sex since we been back together and between me and you I don't want to. Don't think I don't want to I do but I just don't want to move to fast. We did almost have sex before Jo interrupted. You should have seen his face. He looked so innocent as he asked if we could do it. If Jo didn't walk in then Dean might have ended up on all fours begging for it. I'm glad she did though. I did want it but I really want to take things slow. I have faith in our love but not as much as I use to. I want us to work but I find myself thinking more with my brain than my well other brain I'll admit I don't; trust him as much as I use to but I know it will return. Okay I have gotten off track. Where was I?

Oh yes, the DJ had put on a slow song. Not just any slow song. It was a song that I will forever consider our song. I don't who sings it or what the name is but I will never forget the lyrics.

As the song started I remember looking at Dean. He said nothing as smiled before putting his hand in mind. So as the female singer with the soulful voice started belting out the words I pulled him close to me and we moved together. I wish I could say we moved together in sync but we didn't. Dean had no idea what he was doing. He tired his hardest to move with me but he fell behind a few times. He even stepped on my feet a few times. It would be annoying to most people but I found it so adorable. Dean was trying and that is all that matter to me. He moved the best he could as he looked into my eyes.

He trying is all that mattered to me. That's all I ever wanted from him was to know he was trying. All I ever wanted to know was he was mine and nobodies else and being here on this dance floor feeling his love radiate onto me tells me everything I need to know. Just like the singer of this songs sings no one can get in the way of what he feels for me. No one can get in the way can get on the way of I'm feeling.

It's like the universe decided to send me this moment to erase away my the small percentage of doubts I was having.

I get it now. No one can challenge his feels for mean no one can get in the way of how I feel for him. I have to tell this realization is one of the best feelings in the world. The only thing the is messing it is Jo. Every time I look out the corner of my eye I see her. She is just sitting there with those sad brown eyes watching the four of us. Me and Dean Balthazar and Meg are all dancing together without a worry in the world and she sitting there on the verge of tears.

Every time I look at her I feel guiltier and guiltier. I don't know why but part of me feels like I shouldn't I be dancing with Dean. I should be over there with her. I should be over there making sure she smiles. I kind of feel like it's my job.

What am I saying? It's my job without a doubt. I am the only one who knows the full truth but I can't tell her out of loyalty to my brother. I swear right now I could punch him in the face, but I won't I promise I won't. Instead I will ask her to dance. Our song is over and a song I actually know is starting.

The song is Find You By some guy name Zedd. I only know this song because it has been played at The Rusty Halo countless times. I never liked this song until now. I don't know why but for some reason it feels like the perfect song to ask her to dance.

As the tempo starts I kiss Dean on the cheek and quickly inform him that I want to dance with Jo. He give s me a look telling me it's okay before he makes a Bee line for the bar. After he disappears into the coward I make my way to over to her.

She sits there with a drink in her hand as she stares off into space. She quickly comes to as I appear in front of her.

"What the hell Cas?" she says taken back. I guess I appeared out of nowhere to her.

"Sorry." I say with a small chuckle.

"It's forgotten" she says as she connects her eyes with me.

"So" I say after a few seconds of silence "I couldn't help but notice you over here sitting alone and if you didn't know you sitting alone is just wrong for so many reasons."

"Yeah well tell your brother that." She says as her eyes darken with pain.

"My brother's a moron." I say as I get down on one knee.

"Well I'm glad someone besides me knows that." She says as her eyes start to warm again.

"Trust me, any guy in here tonight could tell you that and there all gay so that should tell you something." I say as I touch her hand.

"You're sweet and a liar but it's still sweet…..Thank you. I think I need you saying that. I am starting to feel a little bit better." She says as she cups my hand in hers.

"I'm not lying and I hope you it makes you feel even better after we dance."

"Dance, but the song is almost over." She says as her eyes completely warm.

"So we can finish this song and dance away to the next one. So what do you say wanna make everybody in here in jealous by being the pair on the dance floor that never misses a beat" I say as I stand up and extend my hand.

I was hoping she take my hand right away but she didn't. She me made wait for her to answer but lucky I am a patience man. My mother taught me that. My dad didn't teach me anything but ….You know what? I am getting off topic again.

"Let's show him how it's done." She says as she places her hand in mine.

"I should warn you I am not as god of a dancer as my brothers."

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit." I said nothing as I guided her out on the dance floor. Soon as we reach our mark the current song ended and Unconditionally by Katy Perry started to play as we took our first step.

Dancing with her with Dean was similar and different at the same time. For one she could keep up. Second the eye contact with her was different. Dean would look down at his feet but she never did. She connected her eyes with me and kept the connection the whole song. Yes not once did we look away. We just moved perfectly to the music. After a while I could feel all eyes on me as we took over the dance floor as we did some modern version of the Waltz.

I don't know why but for some reason, I lost myself in this dance. The last thing I remember was Jo giving me such a loving smile that I couldn't help but return. After that I looked into her eyes and I knew that her happy.

**To be continued **

* * *

**so what did you think.**

**Did this chapter raise any red flags for you. I know ti did for me as i was writing it.**

**I shall return with a chapter told from Dean's pov.**

**it will pick up right where i left off.**

**I promise i swear on Destiel.**

**So again happy holidays and make sure you review.**

**p.s if you were wondering the song Destiel were dancing was No One by Alicia keys **

**p.s.s. don;t forget to review. I might be back sooner.**

**then again i hate to say this but no reviews no updates. Maybe just maybe idk yet but i am leaning pretty hard on it **


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